Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   marking his territory.

   what you need!

   not responding

   can't believe its not butter!

   has 99 problems don't become the 100th one

   NOT the father!

   " to be taken three times a day, with water "

   a Figment of your imagination

   making a list of why you suck

   Growing old but never up

   what really sank the titanic.

   the bear necessities.

   shaking it like a Polaroid picture.

   wearing spray on pants.

   in your mum's extended network.

   I just wish my mouth had a backspace key

   "focus- Oh look, a squirrel! "

   had his left side removed. He's all right now

   let the dogs out

   eating pasta with chopsticks.