Funny Status Messages and Tweets

   nourishing his inner child with Cheetos and beer.

   trying to get the taste of last night's date's mouth out of his mouth.

   thinking about sex, every 15 nanoseconds.

   never fakes it!

   poured his heart out, it evaporated....

   In the chemistry lab, proving that ugliness is more than skin deep.

   swimming less than 30 minutes after a meal.

   so poor that he can't even pay attention

   needing to be kissed. And often. And by someone who knows how.

   wants a snuggie made out of sham wow material

   bald, fat, Chinese, rich. Wanna goto the movie sometime?

   just passed a Leopluradon on his/her way to Candy Mountain

   sometimes your the windshield; sometimes your the bug.

   THOUGHT about getting outta bed, still thinking, still thinking

   save a horse, ride a chupacabra

   life isn't about waiting for the storm to pass... it's about learning to dance in the rain

   so fine, he's so fine he blows your mind.

   it turns out, is not a jedi :(

   somewhere over the rainbow

   fighting the financial crisis