MDS Funny Status Messages



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   messageicon I've been eating so much during the lockdown. I'm starting to get a tan from the fridge light.
←Rate | 04-10-2020 14:38 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Movie Theater Tip: When you go to a movie the first thing you need to do is pour a drink in the seat in front of you, so nobody can sit there.
←Rate | 01-24-2020 09:08 by MDS Comments (1)  


   messageicon My brother in-law just called with some terrible news.. He tasted a bag of white powder he found in his son's backpack and his worst fears were realized... Gymnastic chalk.
←Rate | 01-23-2020 14:36 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I saw a woman at Walmart with March Madness teeth.. She was down to the final four.
←Rate | 03-14-2018 07:30 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon A night of insomnia is usually followed by a morning of browser history clearing
←Rate | 02-25-2018 13:10 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I helped a little old lady with a new 60 in. TV cross the road this afternoon. The guy in the car next to me even joined in as we honked our horns repeatedly.
←Rate | 02-20-2018 14:37 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I Went to the Valentine's day parade downtown, it was nothing more than a drunk guy wandering around with heart on.
←Rate | 02-14-2018 16:45 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just received a letter from my crush on Valentine's Day. Well, technically it's a restraining order, but still....
←Rate | 02-14-2018 16:40 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's safe to assume that more pubes are shaved on February 13th than any other day of the year
←Rate | 02-13-2018 07:41 by MDS Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dave came into the bar last night visibly shaken. He said he had just slept with his 3rd cousin. I told him, if it upsets you that much, quit counting them
←Rate | 02-10-2018 08:13 by MDS Comments (0)  



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