roon Funny Status Messages

   wanted to burn some calories today, so I set fire to a fat kid.

   on a diet, I expected to put on 7lbs last weekend ..but only put on 3lbs, so I actually lost 4lbs...result!!

   Why do farmers always put their gates right next to the muddiest parts of the field?

   I've heard that supermarkets waft bakery smells around the store to subconsciously encourage customers to buy bread. I can only guess that my local Costcutter supermarket is trying to encourage its customers to buy toilet rolls.

   The FIA are constantly looking for ways to slow down modern Formula 1 cars, why haven't they tried wrapping hair and fluff around the rear wheel axles? It used to work on my Scalextric

   messing about with google maps..still giggling cos theres alot of Beaver in america, some small...some huge!!.

   going to see how deep the rabbit hole goes.....

   THE BIG Issue would sell a lot more copies if they made their vendors smarten up a bit. Most of them look like tramps.

   if you thought for one minute that our goverment was in control,ever ran with its own ideas, or has our intrests at heart...google COMMON PURPOSE and tell me why this is so very wrong...

   If the Americans can't find Osama Bin Laden, they should stop looking, sit down with a cup of tea and try to think where they saw him last. This always works when I can't find my car keys or the wifes hairbrush.

   has fly kicked the sheepdog....choke slammed the shepard, and is just about to jump that big fence to see whats on the other side!.

   Corsa drivers. Attach a lighted sparkler to the roof of your car before starting a long journey. You drive the things like dodgems anyway, so It may as well look like one.

   Bloody speed cameras are a complete con. Not only do the photos take about five weeks to arrive, but they cost £75 a picture.

   just the right amount of gin in your goldfish bowl makes the fishes' eyes bulge and causes them to swim in a very amusing manner.