Surge yarmolyuk Funny Status Messages

   After reading this sentence you will realize that the the brain doesn't recognize a second 'the'.

   Two things define your Personality, The way you manage things when you have nothing. The way you behave when you have everything.

   The fact is, whatever you do, good or bad, people will always have something negative to say.

   If a girl gets a free drink, it doesn't mean she'll be interested, it'll only mean "YAAY FREE DRINK!!"

   If someone breaks your heart, just punch them in the face. Seriously, punch them in the face and go get some ice cream.

   I hate it when a shower only has two options, either 3rd degree burns or skinny dipping in Antarctica.

   Cell phones should have the option to change "airplane mode" to "drunk mode" that way your drunk texts never leave your phone.

   A second chance doesn't mean anything if you haven't learned from your first mistake.

   If life gave Lady Gaga lemons, she'd probably make an outfit out of them.

   The Weird moment when somebody is cross-eyed and you dont know which eye to look at.

   The only person I'm better than is the person I was yesterday.

   People who say "If I disappeared, no one would notice" are wrong. Anyone who actually saw you vanish would be pretty freaked out.

   The worst kind of human contact is "eye contact through that crack in a bathroom stall when you're pulling up your pants" contact.

   Cheating is a choice... Not a mistake.

   Just found out "suns" upside down is still "suns"

   Dance like no one's going to put it on YouTube.

   The best medicine in the world is a mother's hug

   I never knew that "never odd or even" is "never odd or even" spelt backwards!

   Stop chasing him. Stop turn around and see who's chasing you

   This girl in the street yelled to me "OMG!! Your so hot! I want you!!" Its true. You can ask Brad Pitt he was right behind me.