ROB Funny Status Messages

   It's not that I hate you it's just...ok, put it this way. if you were on fire and I had water. I would drink the water.

   The fact that you continue to speak ,although I informed you I'm not listening, puzzles me.

   i would like to thank you people for letting me know its friday every week its thoughts like this that keep me on facebook.

   Are you always this stupid, OR ARE YOU MAKING A SPECIAL EFFORT TODAY?

   Thanks jerry springer for making my life seem normal...

   robs tip for students #546- Teachers know when you're texting. Sincerely, No one just looks down at their crotch and smiles

   doesn't use sunscreen because his lifestyle makes it far more likely his liver, lungs, or heart will deteriorate before his skin

   You know how when you're kissing someone and you want to take them into the bedroom to have sex with them? Yea, well I don't want to do that with you.

   Got caught with a beer while driving... Who would have thought they would pull over a schoolbus.

   Do they have unbearded ladies at an Italian carnival?

   Humpty Dumpty sat on a bed Little Bo Pep was giving him head as soon as he came she started to weap she knew by the taste he was f**king her sheep

   he is going to start buying lottery tickets at a luckier store.

   that was a sweet lifeguard job till the stupid blue kid got me fired.

   A friend told me "I think your brain is 80% movie clips." Without knowing what to day I started quoting Dumb and Dumber....AND TOTALY REDEEMED MYSELF!!

   it just me or are Jerry Sandusky's excuses starting to sound just like Michael Jackson's excuses ?

   You've been H.A.D ... HAPPY APOCALYPSE DAY .

   Relationship Status? Facebook going down today was the first thing to go down on me in years

   Wow...there apparently is a front And back to male thongs.

   Todays's game in Happy Valley will be referred to as "the Cornhuskers vs the Cornholers"

   No seriuously we should not have dumped Osama bin Laden's body in the ocean ..... Neptune is pissed. He has Unleashed The Kraken's