Piney Funny Status Messages

   saving the planet by tailgating his Silverado behind a Prius.

   concerned your choice in alcoholic beverages is now based on calorie count rather than intoxication efficiency

   Deleting my browser history almost makes me feel like I never cyberstalked you in the first place

   thanks to all of my fb friends, for without them, I would never know when the work week ends.

   wonders if the local Palm Reader that went out of business saw it coming?

   facebook-The only place where married men can poke multiple hotties and stay married.

   If I were an animal, I'd eat vegetarians

   Let's promise we'll always stay close friends but ultimately settle for periodic glances at each other's Facebook status updates

   spending a day on facebook has once again fooled me into believing I have an actual social life.

   ..muscles needed to make your face frown when someone is a moron to you-42. Muscles needed to extend arm and slap said person-4. You do the math...

   it's Monday and the time to procrastinate is NOW!

   aparently there is a difference between funny and clever and I dont know the difference-so I am told.