DOUG Funny Status Messages

   if you feel that the window of opportunity is closed to you, just pick up a rock and smash that f*er to pieces!

   My doctor told me today that I was too sweet. Well, her exact words were, "severely diabetic", but I knew what she meant.

   Sometimes you have to look back to see just how far you HAVE come. Dont dwell on the past. Things and people move into the past for a reason and do not make it into your present and future for a reason. You look back to gain perspective, not to gain doubt

   I used to have super powers, but my psychiatrist took them away

   What do you call the sexuality where you're attracted to men and women but neither are attracted to you? Bi-yourself.