Though I love and embrace all the cultures of the world, I still have to laugh when the guy at the customer service center in India says "What's up, bro? My name's Dave. How's it going?"
I tried to log on to my computer this morning but it wouldn't let me in. I shouted to my wife, "Babe, have you changed the password on the PC?" "Yes honey." "What is it?" "It's the date of our anniversary." Bltch.
A true friend will bring you fresh underwear and shorts after you've accidentally sh*t yourself and not tell anyone. On an unrelated note, is anyone near El Amigo not doing anything?
I'm going to a Halloween party without a shirt, so when people ask what I'm supposed to be I can say a premature ejaculation... I just came in my pants.
According to a recent survey, men say the first thing they notice about a woman is their eyes... and women say the first thing they notice about men iss they're a bunch of liars.