anonymous Funny Status Messages

   Says women will never be as successful as men because they don't have wives to advise them

   rejects your reality and substitutes his own properly medicated version.

   Why is the alphabet in that order? Is it because of that song?

   laughing at your pictures

   will be giving a live performance today...shower curtain goes up at 5 exactly so be there.

   having trouble watering the plastic plants

   may not be smarter than a 5th grader but for sure smarter than a 4th grader

   gonna change my facebook status, but I got high...

   drinking tequila in the shower....09:07 AM

   "added new photos to the album ""Porn"" "

   being chased by penguins

   legally dead for tax purposes

   very funny Scotty; now beam down my clothes !!!

   now listed as single but in a relationship,its complicated.

   clapping her hands and stomping her feet because she is happy and she knows it.

   purposely pouring water on Gremlins

   bored of thinking of funny things to write in status and isn't going to bother this time

   running with scissors... makes me feel dangerous!

   a Jedi. Obviously.

   not gaining weight, he's retaining food!