Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   No letters were harmed in the making of this status message.

   Dear Rain, thanks for washing away the yellow flower sperm that "skeeted" on everything.

   If a Chinese student knows more English than you do in terms of punctuation and grammar....you're screwed.

   Just got my hearing test results back. Turns out I am deaf to a range in which women complain.

   If some people hate Myspace, then why keep promoting your Twitter on it?

   Don't be sad, if you think you're not important to someone....or something, Just Google yourself.

   Funny how people get easily buzzed about the new iphone and droid phones. Meanwhile, China and Japan are sitting back laughing at us with their better (possible) 5G phones.

   Aww I'm sorry you're mad the world doesn't revolve around you. Here...let me pour you a nice, tall glass of Get Over It.

   Did everybody see the trailer for the new Free Willy movie? They kept on showing it on the news.

   Play any of the Terminator or Conan video games nowadays and amazingly the 'cheat codes' will be already be turned on.

   Thanks for letting us know how "bored" and "lonely" you are....Next time let us know if we even care.

   Before marriage, a man yearns for the woman he loves. After marriage, the "y" becomes silent.

   Dear FCC, We already know whats being shown and said behind those blurs and black rectangles. Sincerely Everybody

   I heard Paris Hilton and Kim Kardashian never really got into high school. Which is not surprising as to why a lot of dudes got into them.

   Considering their thousand-year old dirty little secret, I wonder if the Vatican gets Amber alerts?

   I find it suspicious that everyone's personal god has the same beliefs as they do.

   That nervous moment when we're at a Fiscal Cliff and Obama's campaign slogan is "Forward"

   What people call it the presidential debate, I call it the world's most expensive puppet show.

   Julian Assange(Wikileaks) gives private info. on corporations to you for free and he's the villain. Mark Zuckerberg gives your private info. to corporations for money and he's Man of The Year.

   Facebook 101: Seriously, if you've got something to say to someone, say it to them DIRECTLY. Don't post it on your wall for everyone else to see because no one else is interested, and people will just think you're a egotist.