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StonerDudee Funny Status Messages
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Page: 8 of 14
You know you drank too much if you have to wait until your court appearance to find out what the hell happened that night
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10-21-2014 14:41 by
StonerDudee
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How does a woman carry a child in her stomach for 9 months, go through all the pain, hold it in her arms, and end up calling it laquisha
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02-04-2014 15:11 by
StonerDudee
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Just drove by an Asian restaurant - Wok n' Roll - well played Chinese people. So crever
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01-03-2014 11:01 by
StonerDudee
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Just saw a homeless guy sleeping in a box and it was surrounded by bubble wrap. It must be his alarm system.
38
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07-31-2012 23:18 by
StonerDudee
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I spent yesterday painting some kickass flames on a car. I bet whoever owns it was stoked when they came out of the mall.
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08-19-2012 10:07 by
StonerDudee
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I do not have a drinking problem... people without arms have a drinking problem.
52
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10-19-2012 01:37 by
StonerDudee
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How can this cop expect me to show him my license when he took it away last month? What an Idiot.
52
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07-16-2012 12:44 by
StonerDudee
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I made this status nice and short so you can just move onto the next one.
52
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11-03-2013 16:14 by
StonerDudee
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I've been told my posts are too depressing but what does it matter. We'll all be dead soon anyway.
33
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12-17-2014 20:40 by
StonerDudee
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I will stop drinking when Captain Morgan puts his foot down.
47
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08-29-2012 20:05 by
StonerDudee
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People assume I'm smart when they see my glasses case. Then they see that I use it to store a Twix bar and they recognize my true genius.
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08-28-2013 13:02 by
StonerDudee
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Men everywhere should appreciate Starbucks attempt to brainwash women into believing that grande means medium.
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06-15-2015 19:52 by
StonerDudee
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0
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Sure, you can sit next me. The other 123 empty chairs in this movie theatre probably suck anyways
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09-25-2013 19:40 by
StonerDudee
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First Tiger Woods, then Lance Armstrong, and now Oscar Pistorius. I think Nike should start telling their athletes "Don't Do It"
65
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02-15-2013 21:28 by
StonerDudee
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If she posts 7 new selfies a day, Regardless of how hot she is, Let it go bud. You'll never give the amount of attention required. Science.
46
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06-11-2015 17:40 by
StonerDudee
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0
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Kids have so many food allergies these days. In 15 years you'll be able to rob a bank with a bag of peanuts.
32
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12-01-2014 12:45 by
StonerDudee
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Thanks for sharing your moon with me on Instagram. We don't have a moon where I live.
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07-17-2014 11:32 by
StonerDudee
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Oh thank goodness, you posted another selfie. I almost forgot what you looked like since the selfie 5 minutes ago.
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05-22-2014 13:59 by
StonerDudee
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Whenever being single gets me down, I like to close my eyes, take a deep breath and then go do whatever I want pretty much nonstop.
27
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02-22-2015 12:51 by
StonerDudee
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0
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Why can't the ice cream man just get a fu*kin liquor license already
18
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10-21-2014 14:39 by
StonerDudee
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