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SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages
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Page: 74 of 74
I'm not mooning you. I'm turning the other cheek.
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08-24-2011 12:10 by
SuthernFukr
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I wanna build a house on the graves of the two dead kids from Poltergeist.
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01-30-2012 10:29 by
SuthernFukr
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“q”, “p”, “b” and “d” are the same letter, but with a different angle.
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05-29-2012 10:50 by
SuthernFukr
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Not sure why there isn't a Williams sister sitting on my face right now.
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11-16-2011 09:45 by
SuthernFukr
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"You moved the headstones but you never moved the chicken bones!!" (Poultrygeist)
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12-05-2011 09:16 by
SuthernFukr
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A lady called me 'Feckless' and I was forced to admit it - I am totally without Feck.
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01-09-2012 14:27 by
SuthernFukr
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To celebrate my 666th tweet I'm going to sacrifice a virgin & bite the head off a chicken. AKA "sex behind KFC"
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11-15-2011 15:12 by
SuthernFukr
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"Days of Our Lives" could also be called "Men who dye their hair"
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12-11-2011 08:39 by
SuthernFukr
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America leads the world in reality shows about what female reality show stars do after their reality shows end.
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02-07-2012 09:20 by
SuthernFukr
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Just drank a Red Stripe, smoked a spliff, listened to dub reggae and watched The Harder They Come, yet I'm still TERRIBLE at bobsledding!
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02-10-2012 10:10 by
SuthernFukr
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Some people can stop rocking. I, however, am not one of them.
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02-22-2012 09:24 by
SuthernFukr
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I didn't know the name of the curly-mustachioed head shop proprietor, but that didn't make him a "stranger." And so, I accepted his candy.
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03-14-2012 12:04 by
SuthernFukr
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Dont be afraid of change, its inevitable. Unless youre homeless. Then you might have to go around asking for it. By the way, I dont have any.
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05-23-2012 10:21 by
SuthernFukr
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Congrats on ur Bar Mitzvah. Today you r a man, which you'll now illustrate by going apes*** over presents.
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09-20-2011 10:05 by
SuthernFukr
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So, we are allowed to pee in our own showers, just not other people's showers. Check. My neighbor is never looking at me the same, is he?
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10-05-2011 16:41 by
SuthernFukr
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I fear that if the Mississippi "life begins at conception" bill passes, my army of tissue babies will rise up & take over the world.
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11-08-2011 10:05 by
SuthernFukr
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Kelly Ripa and KrIsten Chenoweth are made from 100% recycled Dolly Parton scraps.
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03-06-2012 10:14 by
SuthernFukr
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Welcome to the SATs - your score today may determine which College Loan you'll be paying well into your 40s. Let's begin.
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12-04-2011 08:25 by
SuthernFukr
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Ambulances are SUCH drama queens.
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11-18-2011 13:33 by
SuthernFukr
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Fair is fair but sometimes unfair is still kinda fair comparatively.
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03-14-2012 12:02 by
SuthernFukr
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