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Page: 74 of 5577
If you were surprised by jeffrey Epstein's suicide, just imagine how surprised he was!
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08-10-2019 21:56
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My wife told me: "Sex is better on vacation." That wasn't a very nice postcard to receive.
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05-07-2017 17:57 by
Gump
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People who help you find what you are looking for in a liquor store should be called "Spirit Guides."
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06-06-2017 09:49
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I’m really thankful I had a childhood before social media took over.
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11-30-2020 12:47
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Making good decisions doesn’t really go with my outfit.
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11-10-2017 00:31
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You question whether you are getting old when your barber asks if your eyebrows need trimming, and you know it when he does it without asking
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12-16-2017 08:14
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Just had ice cream without sprinkles on top. Diets are so hard.
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01-02-2018 16:20
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If you call me from a private number I'll respect your privacy and not answer
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03-23-2018 04:56
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Not to brag but I used hand soap before it was trending.
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03-06-2020 06:47
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Truth does not mind being questioned. A lie does not like being challenged
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01-24-2021 22:51 by
Lonmo
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Has lost my mood ring, and I don’t know how it feels.
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10-04-2021 11:44
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Not sure how people will react when they find out I'm actually a robot.
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10-04-2021 11:49
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When a cashier asks if you found everything you were looking for, take their hand, look deeply into their eyes and say, "I have now."
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08-17-2017 08:41 by
Moose42
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I miss that feeling you'd get at the video store when you discovered the movie you wanted to rent was available.
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09-24-2017 10:13
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If a Fire-Fighter's career can go up in smoke, and a plumber's career can go down the drain, can a hooker get laid off?
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02-04-2019 13:16
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Guys, please recycle. We wanna leave a better world for Betty White and Keith Richards when we’re gone.
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05-05-2019 12:59
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Distancing from people & not going out. Drinking too much coffee in the morning. Eating and smoking too much all day. Watching too much tv. Drinking too much at night. Then the pandemic struck.
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04-12-2020 15:33 by
RoboGoon
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Anyone else find it odd that on Star Trek, when they "boldly go where no one has gone before" they always end up meeting someone?
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05-05-2018 07:14
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Why do recipes say to "preheat oven?" Shouldn't it just be "heat oven?"
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02-21-2019 11:07
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Now it's too hot out to take the Christmas lights down.
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06-28-2019 19:49 by
Moon
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