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SuthernFukr Funny Status Messages
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Page: 73 of 74
Prison is peculiar. All the pros are cons.
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05-23-2012 10:22 by
SuthernFukr
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All I want is to live in a world where kids don't lose their s*** when they see Elmo.
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10-13-2011 10:55 by
SuthernFukr
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One could make a reasonable argument that the tot is the best part of the tater.
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12-02-2011 16:06 by
SuthernFukr
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Hah! Got my inflatable Santa Jesus up before you this year, Henderson. SUCK IT, CHRISTMAS LOSER!!!
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11-04-2011 18:43 by
SuthernFukr
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The average doorknob has more cooties on it than 700,000,000 very dirty anuses.
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01-26-2012 16:01 by
SuthernFukr
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If it was really a "smart phone" it would know to tell me to wash my hands before I touch it.
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11-28-2011 08:47 by
SuthernFukr
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I may not be everyone's cup of tea, but I am everyone's great big bag of weed when they come home for the holidays.
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12-24-2011 09:19 by
SuthernFukr
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Why do firetrucks often accompany ambulances to a call? I'd be like "I'm not on fire; I just can't feel my legs! Chillax!"
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11-07-2011 15:55 by
SuthernFukr
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After just 3 min. of reading a MAXIM in a waiting room, I grew a thick goatee & told a nurse to "Make me a damn sandwich."
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02-16-2012 15:57 by
SuthernFukr
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Hey Little Drummer Boy -the Roman Army's hunting us, we're hiding in a barn & the baby's sleeping. Maybe STFU w/the drum.
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12-01-2011 09:53 by
SuthernFukr
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Was just about to pump iron but then I thought, "Does a rose need to wear perfume?"
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03-11-2012 11:45 by
SuthernFukr
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A dry sense of humor is better than slobbering all over the place.
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09-14-2011 10:23 by
SuthernFukr
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I wish I had a deity co-pilot. I don't even have an emergency contact.
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11-01-2011 10:25 by
SuthernFukr
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Andy Rooney's college roommate/lifelong friend drops dead at the late legend's memorial service. BUT HE DID WIN THE BET!
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11-10-2011 09:58 by
SuthernFukr
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My girlfriend asked me if a fleshlight lights up like a flashlight because it would be a great dual purpose tool. I can't argue that.
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12-17-2011 08:47 by
SuthernFukr
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Whenever someone tells me I should be ashamed of myself, I'm like "Got it covered, bro!"
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03-14-2012 11:57 by
SuthernFukr
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With "Slim T's" t-shirts Man has finally perfected the Wifebeater-girdle.
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04-14-2012 10:28 by
SuthernFukr
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I opened up a bottle of coke and it said, "Sorry, you didn't win". I didn't even know I was playing, yet I was still disappointed.
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05-23-2012 10:25 by
SuthernFukr
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I bet in hell you have to sleep in a hot bedroom with a pillow that never has a cool side.
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05-26-2012 11:00 by
SuthernFukr
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If I had an anal fissure, I would go around bragging, “I'm so ripped.”
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11-15-2011 09:53 by
SuthernFukr
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