Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Hey person calling me from a blocked number, I’m not answering. Ever.
←Rate | 01-25-2013 21:12 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone is beautiful in their own way, your way just happens to be in the dark.
←Rate | 08-11-2011 07:25 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon If I had to describe myself in one word, it would be "bad at following directions."
←Rate | 08-27-2011 13:42 by @dj_soltrix Comments (0)  


   messageicon WORDS OF ADVICE: Whenever she says "I think we should see other people", what she really means is that she's been seeing someone else behind your back for weeks and has now grown tired of the charade.
←Rate | 09-06-2011 08:29 by Angel Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook should change it from "Friends" to "People I've made eye contact with".
←Rate | 10-13-2011 16:57 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you were any smarter I could teach you to fetch.
←Rate | 05-25-2011 08:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon BBC News- "Mobiles 'may cause brain cancer'" download our iphone app for more on this story
←Rate | 06-01-2011 20:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Facebook .... the online version of "Jerry Springer" .... but more entertaining.....
←Rate | 06-09-2011 21:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Coffee...Meet your Maker!
←Rate | 06-14-2011 10:44 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Hey parents with teenagers, the bottle of vodka in your liquor cabinet is water.
←Rate | 06-14-2011 12:20 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's what people don't know about each other that makes them such good friends.
←Rate | 06-15-2011 14:36 by BEGO Comments (0)  


   messageicon the way to tell a woman is single and or not even dating...is how hairy their legs are
←Rate | 05-09-2011 11:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I do not understand how a phone that starts your car can be a selling point. If someone steals your phone, they not only have your car, but more than likely your facebook, which let's face it, is scarier than losing a car.
←Rate | 05-09-2011 14:31 by Dylan Bosch Comments (0)  


   messageicon What I typed to text my wife: Getting BK (Burger King) now. What auto-correct on my iPhone tried to change it to: Getting BJ now. Thankfully I checked it before I hit send...
←Rate | 02-07-2011 13:49 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Once you lick frosting off a cupcake it becomes a muffin
←Rate | 02-17-2011 21:03 by hovo Comments (0)  


   messageicon Actually according to chemists, alcohol IS a solution…
←Rate | 03-03-2011 03:17 by Rashad Hammoud Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Weird moment when somebody is cross-eyed and you dont know which eye to look at.
←Rate | 06-30-2011 22:49 by Surge Yarmolyuk Comments (0)  


   messageicon TMZ is reporting that OJ Simpson and Casey Anthony are now dating after finding out they have things in common on eharmony.com....
←Rate | 07-05-2011 17:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon im not saying I'm a badass, but I do play the wii without the straps
←Rate | 07-12-2011 19:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm sad I'll never get to see the joy and confusion on some archeologist's face when, in a few thousand years, he tries to explain the "Shake Weight" ..
←Rate | 04-22-2012 19:03 by snotty Comments (0)  



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