Marshall the Great Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Hey person that always has to make a comment that ruins my status, f*ck off! You're just jealous that I came up with a better status than you.
←Rate | 07-13-2011 18:58 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Relationships are like farts... If you push too hard, things could get messy!
←Rate | 03-03-2010 16:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If it's your birthday this month, then you know your parents really enjoyed Valentine's Day.
←Rate | 11-04-2010 15:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ladies, that "gangsta" face you make in your Facebook pictures isn't cute. You look like you're trying to smell your upper lip.
←Rate | 07-23-2011 15:24 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Nice guys let her finish first, twice.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 10:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am so sick and tired of your sh!t. You are lucky I am not banging your wife and making you watch... just practicing what I will say to my boss if I win the lottery tonight.
←Rate | 03-30-2012 13:31 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why does mineral water that has "trickled through mountains for centuries" have a "Use By" date?
←Rate | 10-14-2010 11:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon Yes it may sound childish but if it glows in the dark I still get freaking exited.
←Rate | 07-31-2012 16:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon At the beginning of any relationship, every girl treats her boyfriend as "GOD." ... 'Later on somehow the alphabets get reversed!!!
←Rate | 02-28-2010 06:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon One man's trash is another man's daughter.
←Rate | 08-12-2011 17:04 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There was a therapist on TV talking about the importance of having a reward system in place for when your child behaves. I remember having that with my parents, it was called "not getting your ass beat."
←Rate | 06-30-2011 13:37 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm so gangsta, I don't even report to Microsoft when Firefox unexpectedly quits. Snitches get Stitches B*tches!
←Rate | 06-27-2011 16:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Sitting in the theater, ready to watch the move then BAM!!! The human giraffe decides to sit in front of you!
←Rate | 07-11-2011 12:41 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's going to take a lot more than a few “LIKES” on my Facebook page to make me forget what an ass you were in high school.
←Rate | 09-27-2011 14:19 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I could choose between world peace and a reasonable fortune, my first Lambo would be red.
←Rate | 11-13-2012 16:52 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Umm, when someone posts that they're having a bad day, I don't think it's proper Facebook etiquette to "like" their status.
←Rate | 10-22-2012 14:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just got a Facebook "confirmed friend request" email from the bar I got kicked out of a few weeks ago. That means I'm allowed back in, right?
←Rate | 12-07-2010 15:16 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon not a stalker. Look! Here's a picture of you in the shower... am I in it? Nooooo!
←Rate | 03-05-2010 00:51 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want a Toyota even more than before. Now if you get pulled over you can blame the accelerator!
←Rate | 03-12-2010 14:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am taking a shot for every "like" I get on this status. Then again, I'm taking shots whether you bastards like it or not.
←Rate | 04-01-2012 03:53 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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