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Page: 711 of 5593
Happy Single-Awareness Day!
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02-14-2010 01:01 by
Julius Andres
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I didn't realize until Facebook that most of my friends are wannabe farmers, gangsters or cooks.
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06-28-2010 14:38 by
Marshall the Great
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if you poke, please poke responsibly
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07-15-2010 17:09
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Evening news is where they begin with 'Good evening', and then proceed to tell you why it isn't.
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08-19-2009 17:58
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If you tell the truth you don't have to remember anything.
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11-23-2009 15:17 by
fefe
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One of my pet peeves is women who don't put the toilet seat back up when they're finished.
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09-01-2010 19:27 by
MBH
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It's impossible to bring up life insurance with your spouse without it seeming like you plan to have them whacked.
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09-22-2010 16:19 by
badd status
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if dill was a cookie flavor, would the batter be called "dill dough"?
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10-05-2010 19:54
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Dear men who are smart and hot and madly in love with me: Please start existing.
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05-01-2010 14:32
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finally figured out what flies and mosquitoes are for. They're God's way of making us slap ourselves.
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05-06-2010 16:06
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A cop pulls a guy over for weaving in traffic. He walks up to the driver's window and asks, "You drinkin?" The driver says, "You buyin?"
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05-26-2010 19:42 by
Joser
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WHEW! I just had a near-work experience...
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05-28-2010 11:45 by
Joser
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When deciding which self-checkout line to stand in, I don't look to see how many items they have, I look to see how intelligent they look.
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12-30-2010 16:23 by
Mike M
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1
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I'm going to replace my car horn with machine gun audio.
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01-01-2011 11:10 by
Marshall the Great
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Some people should not be allowed to have cell phones in their cars. Not me though, I can drive with my knee.
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01-10-2011 14:31 by
Aaron
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you've been unfriended, unfollowed and blocked. Let me know where you can see this, so I can block you there too!
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10-27-2010 20:16 by
Marshall the Great
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Relastionships are like yard sales. They might look good from a distance but close up its just a bunch of crap you dont need
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10-28-2010 08:05 by
J-Blow
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went to Wal-Mart this afternoon and discovered that some people think Febreeze is a substitution for doing laundry.
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11-12-2010 10:28 by
Nate
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You should not clean a gun while loaded....Unless you're wiping off fingerprints!!
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11-14-2010 19:24 by
eaglet1122
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Dear Curiosity, just put the gun down and lets talk this out.~ Sincerely, The Cat.
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11-22-2010 05:18
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