Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   There is always a double standard when strip clubs have 'All You Can Eat' buffets.

   Ants kill around 30 people a year......Marijuana is safer than ants.

   Nothing says Responsibility like a woman taking her birth control pill with a shot of Tequila.

   Want to know who your friends are?...Tell everybody the truth and see who still hangs arounds you afterwards.

   Motels....Because you and your hooker deserve better than the backseat of some car.

   So the government gave the order for Verizon to hand over phone records so we can help them track (cough-cough) "terrorists".........yeah ok.

   Make sure your worst enemy is not living between your own two ears.

   Don't tell God how big your problems are, tell your problems how big your God is.

   changed his/her relationship status to "None of you damn business"

   If you're agruing with an idiot for more than a minute, then there will be two idiots.

   Roses are red, violets are blue. A bag of weed is cheaper than a dinner for two.

   Remember the time when Power Rangers, Ninja Turtles. Super Nintendo, Sega Genisis, the ORIGINAL Nickelodeon, Saturday morning cartoons. and recess made you a real kid back then.

   Why is it that the very people who are against abortion, pornography, and homosexuality are the very same people you wouldn't want to have sex with in the first place?

   I opened up Microsoft Word, sneezed all over my keyboard, I accidently made a Honey Boo Boo reality show script.

   a single father of about 4 million kids swimming around fighting to make it to their mother's egg

   The word LISTEN contains the same letters as the word SILENT........

   You actually play with the volume more often when watching porn.

   there sure is going to be a lot of people losing their virginity in the year 2012.

   Arguing with a person who has rejected the use of reason is like administering medicine to the dead.

   Words don't have the power to hurt you...unless.. the person saying them means a lot to you.