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   messageicon Kids buy breakfast cerial the same way men buy lingerie for thier wives. They buy something they care nothing about just so they can get at the prize that's inside.
←Rate | 04-12-2010 18:20 by British bob Comments (0)  


   messageicon Feels like posting tomorrow's status update today
←Rate | 04-23-2010 04:15 Comments (0)  


   messageicon An error has occured: User performed an illegal operation when they got out of bed. Return user to bed to continue.
←Rate | 04-28-2010 00:03 by Tim Bertram Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
←Rate | 05-01-2010 18:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
←Rate | 05-11-2010 12:34 by l33t Comments (0)  


   messageicon Just saw my Direct Deposit amount and the "LOL" the bank typed next to it.
←Rate | 05-17-2010 19:52 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Does anyone besides me think the new Olympic Mascots resemble sex toys?????
←Rate | 05-20-2010 07:22 by tanner Comments (0)  


   messageicon Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.
←Rate | 05-24-2010 05:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You know you are having a bad day, when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
←Rate | 06-03-2010 19:52 by CJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's sad when you can see how long you slept by looking at the time between Facebook status updates.
←Rate | 06-05-2010 20:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon I think it's not the morning that's bothering me. It's the awakeness.
←Rate | 06-10-2010 05:49 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon hopes Joran van der Sloot gets the electric chair...then he'll be called 'The Frying Dutchman'
←Rate | 06-15-2010 14:41 by @bitemeNsuckit Comments (0)  


   messageicon The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
←Rate | 01-25-2011 17:32 by Dopey420 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I just saw a commercial for Oprah's Farewell Season. I think I may jump for joy!!
←Rate | 09-03-2010 08:58 by JRF Comments (0)  


   messageicon Rarely does one meet a ferret owner that isn't really creepy and weird
←Rate | 09-03-2010 20:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
←Rate | 09-08-2010 07:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon need advice on how to make a paper cut to the jugular look like an accident.
←Rate | 09-14-2010 21:47 by Leeferd Comments (0)  


   messageicon Logging off Facebook is like trying to get away from the bar. It's always, "I'll just have one more..."
←Rate | 09-24-2010 13:40 by badd status Comments (0)  


   messageicon ˙ɹǝʌoƃuɐɥ ʇsɹoʍ ǝɥʇ sɐɥ
←Rate | 09-24-2010 23:51 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe, I'll have another beer.
←Rate | 10-03-2010 15:27 Comments (0)  



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