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Kids buy breakfast cerial the same way men buy lingerie for thier wives. They buy something they care nothing about just so they can get at the prize that's inside.
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04-12-2010 18:20 by
British bob
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Feels like posting tomorrow's status update today
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04-23-2010 04:15
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An error has occured: User performed an illegal operation when they got out of bed. Return user to bed to continue.
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04-28-2010 00:03 by
Tim Bertram
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I want to get a vending machine, with fun sized candy bars, and the glass in front is a magnifying glass. You'll be mad, but it will be too late.
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05-01-2010 18:18
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I know right from wrong. Wrong is the fun one.
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05-11-2010 12:34 by
l33t
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Just saw my Direct Deposit amount and the "LOL" the bank typed next to it.
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05-17-2010 19:52
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Does anyone besides me think the new Olympic Mascots resemble sex toys?????
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05-20-2010 07:22 by
tanner
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Happiness is not a destination. It is a method of life.
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05-24-2010 05:42
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You know you are having a bad day, when the bird singing outside your window is a vulture.
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06-03-2010 19:52 by
CJ
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It's sad when you can see how long you slept by looking at the time between Facebook status updates.
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06-05-2010 20:07 by
Marshall the Great
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I think it's not the morning that's bothering me. It's the awakeness.
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06-10-2010 05:49 by
Marshall the Great
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hopes Joran van der Sloot gets the electric chair...then he'll be called 'The Frying Dutchman'
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06-15-2010 14:41 by
@bitemeNsuckit
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The best way to lie is to tell the truth, carefully edited truth.
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01-25-2011 17:32 by
Dopey420
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I just saw a commercial for Oprah's Farewell Season. I think I may jump for joy!!
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09-03-2010 08:58 by
JRF
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Rarely does one meet a ferret owner that isn't really creepy and weird
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09-03-2010 20:42
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lack of planning on your part does not constitute an emergency on my part.
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09-08-2010 07:58
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need advice on how to make a paper cut to the jugular look like an accident.
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09-14-2010 21:47 by
Leeferd
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Logging off Facebook is like trying to get away from the bar. It's always, "I'll just have one more..."
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09-24-2010 13:40 by
badd status
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˙ɹǝʌoƃuɐɥ ʇsɹoʍ ǝɥʇ sɐɥ
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09-24-2010 23:51
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Everyone needs to believe in something. I believe, I'll have another beer.
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10-03-2010 15:27
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