Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Don't think too much. You'll create a problem that wasn't even there in the first place.
←Rate | 05-17-2011 16:42 by abbybaby34 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It"s ok to pretend you're Irish on St. Patrick's Day. You pretend you're good on Christmas, don't you?
←Rate | 03-17-2011 12:05 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's no doubt that a man's mind is behind Facebook. Why? Because it will ask you "What's on your mind?" and then it will put a limit on how long your status can be.
←Rate | 01-29-2011 15:00 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Dear fat girl in a tube top, You look like a can of biscuits popped open.
←Rate | 02-03-2011 17:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I am proud to say that I have completed the 1st item on my bucket list... I got the bucket
←Rate | 07-27-2014 15:41 by MWC Comments (0)  


   messageicon I want to open a donut shop called Hole Foods.
←Rate | 07-23-2015 20:13 by snotty Comments (0)  


   messageicon According to WebMD my symptoms mean I died 3 years ago.
←Rate | 10-03-2010 15:56 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon At a recent job interview: What would you consider to be your main weaknesses and strengths? Well my main weakness would be my issues with reality, telling what's real from what's not.And your strengths? I'm Batman.
←Rate | 10-13-2010 13:27 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon bored of poking, can we have a spank button??
←Rate | 10-20-2010 13:43 by Heather25 Comments (2)  


   messageicon I never believed in horoscopes until I found a magazine that accurately predicted what I was going to be doing today. Thank you, TV Guide.
←Rate | 10-21-2010 10:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon wondering why when the best actors are chosen by actors it is called the Oscars, but when the best actors are chosen by regular people it is called an election.
←Rate | 03-07-2010 12:39 by QueenBee404 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you noticed that the "lol" symbol looks like a drowning guy? I bet hes not laughing out loud
←Rate | 11-30-2009 20:07 by kristi r. Comments (0)  


   messageicon --- Just bought the girlfriend a solar powered vibrator....Seeing as the sun shines out of her a** it should save me a fu**ing fortune on batteries.......
←Rate | 04-08-2010 20:10 by Y.P Comments (1)  


   messageicon An old battleax of a woman said to Winston Churchill, "If you were my husband I would put poison in your tea.". Churchill's response, "Ma'am if you were my wife I would drink it.".
←Rate | 04-27-2010 20:56 by bego Comments (0)  


   messageicon Life is like a game of cards. If you don't have a partner, you better have a good hand.
←Rate | 05-02-2010 13:27 by lemonpillow Comments (0)  


   messageicon England are to change their shirts for the next game. The 3 lions will be replaced with 3 tampons to represent the worst period they've ever had!!
←Rate | 06-24-2010 07:03 by samdave69 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Oops they got my order wrong again. I ordered an extra large weekend,hold the Monday. I'll wait in bed until they get it right!
←Rate | 07-19-2010 06:33 by Bindi Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're gonna flip out on your Facebook, don't delete it all the next day. Some of us still want to share your meltdown with our friends.
←Rate | 10-24-2010 13:17 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon In an elevator I like to pull out a picture of myself and ask people "have you seen this person?"
←Rate | 11-17-2010 16:24 by abbybaby34bc Comments (1)  


   messageicon If you are under house arrest but live in a mobile home can you go anywhere you want?
←Rate | 11-29-2011 09:49 by SEAN Comments (0)  



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