Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon If anything I post offends you, please bring it to my attention so I can delete you off my friends list.
←Rate | 02-10-2011 17:34 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon no matter how hard it rains, two dudes under one umbrella is a little gay
←Rate | 09-07-2011 19:18 by Rand Allday Evryday Comments (0)  


   messageicon no woman will ever be truely satisfied because no man will ever have a chocolate penis that ejaculates money…
←Rate | 04-15-2010 21:53 by paulb808 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I tuned into the Miss Universe Pageant hoping to see Miss Jupiter, but it turns out only Earth entered the competition.
←Rate | 08-24-2010 17:34 by Shamus Comments (1)  


   messageicon I saw a fat kid sitting on a seesaw all by himself. I stopped and waited for another kid to fall from the sky. I left disappointed.
←Rate | 12-10-2012 11:55 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon Pain is nature's way of saying, "Don't do that." Painkillers are mankind's way of saying, "Just watch me."
←Rate | 07-03-2011 11:34 by Aaron Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I stop my car so you can walk across the street, I better see some hustle out of you! Knees to chest dammit! KNEES TO CHEST!
←Rate | 08-02-2011 10:15 by @williamhale1 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you don't like the new photo viewer on Facebook...Hit the F5 key after the picture comes up and it will return you to the old way of viewing the photo and remove the black box around it.
←Rate | 02-20-2011 19:07 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Wow I slept like an air traffic controller last night.
←Rate | 04-19-2011 14:43 by Me Comments (0)  


   messageicon ™ is a registered trademark. All unauthorized reproduction and distribution will lead to prosecution.
←Rate | 02-18-2010 18:20 by bigedusw Comments (0)  


   messageicon good girls blush when they watch porn but bad girls smile coz they know they can do better!!! ;-)
←Rate | 02-08-2010 14:42 by donna knight Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're a midget, and you don't dress up as a leprechaun and hand out chocolate gold coins for Halloween, you're just being selfish!
←Rate | 10-13-2011 00:50 by CurtDaddy Comments (0)  


   messageicon TRUE STORY: I held the door open for an Asian gentlemen yesterday at the mall. He said "Sank You." He better not be referring to Pearl Harbor.
←Rate | 09-07-2011 14:39 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon To Michael Brown's family: I hope you find closure. To Darren Wilson: I hope you find peace. To the rioters: I hope you find jobs.
←Rate | 11-26-2014 20:35 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Women close their eyes during sëx because they can't stand to see a man having a good time.
←Rate | 12-24-2013 11:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The plain cake donut is always the last one picked.... Come with me poor little plain cake donut,, you can be on my team.
←Rate | 04-03-2012 21:57 by snotty Comments (1)  


   messageicon last time I checked this was the "funny facebook status website" not the deep and meaningful status website
←Rate | 04-12-2012 09:48 Comments (2)  


   messageicon Girls don't be proud if every guy wants you... Cheap items have many buyers
←Rate | 01-05-2012 00:52 by Canadian25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ghetto word of the day: COLOGNE. Usage: "You think you cologne me a dollar or two?"
←Rate | 01-14-2012 13:20 by Czovczov Comments (0)  


   messageicon it just me, or are 80% of the people in the “people you may know” feature on facebook people that you do know, but deliberately choose not to be friends with?
←Rate | 03-17-2010 15:20 by lemonpillow Comments (9)  



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