Marshall The Great Funny Status Messages

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   messageicon Sometimes I click the "LIKE" button on people's statuses just so I can then click the "UNLIKE" button. One of my many cheap thrills...
←Rate | 02-21-2011 15:42 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon When life gives you lemons, order the lobster tail.
←Rate | 11-14-2012 02:00 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The way to a girl's heart is presents. The way to a woman's heart is presence.
←Rate | 09-07-2012 13:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Moving sucks! Why hasn't anyone invented Copy and Paste for real life?
←Rate | 04-14-2010 21:08 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon When writing the story of your life... Don't let anyone hold the pen!!!
←Rate | 02-25-2011 19:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If a super villain attacks my house whose only weakness is leftover soy sauce packets from the take-out place, he is so f'ked.
←Rate | 05-24-2011 16:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon You health nuts are gonna feel real stupid when you're laying in the hospital dying of nothing.
←Rate | 08-01-2012 13:47 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Air Freshener: Because there's no louder way of telling the whole house you've just taken a sh*t...
←Rate | 09-09-2012 15:48 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Sleeping on the couch" should be a relationship status on Facebook!
←Rate | 06-15-2013 18:07 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do people say ''I saw it with my own eyes." Do they sometimes use other peoples eyes?
←Rate | 10-23-2012 09:21 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Organized people are just people who are too lazy to look for things.
←Rate | 11-17-2012 20:33 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you're telling me to relax, it's probably your fault that I'm not.
←Rate | 11-18-2010 14:38 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon My life wasn't complete until I met you,,,,,,, You COMPLETELY ruined it. Thanks...
←Rate | 10-03-2011 12:22 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon 100% of the people that talk sh!t about your life, have sh!ttier lives than you.
←Rate | 04-30-2012 18:36 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon MTV has announced the cancellation of the show "Jersey Shore." Please join me in a moment of silence. OK, that was too long.
←Rate | 08-31-2012 16:45 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Some girls seem to think that LOVE stands for Legs Open Very Easy!
←Rate | 11-27-2012 09:55 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Know that stunning girl who says naughty things and constantly posts pics of herself? I GUARANTEE you'd be SICK of her in like two weeks.
←Rate | 09-26-2012 20:40 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ever wonder what your face is doing when you aren't paying attention?
←Rate | 09-26-2010 17:44 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon The Walkman is offically dead. We had some good times in the 80's, and early 90's. You're in a better place now. RIP
←Rate | 10-24-2010 17:43 by Marshall the Great Comments (1)  


   messageicon ■Twitter makes me like strangers I've never met and Facebook makes me dislike people I know in real life.
←Rate | 11-02-2010 08:57 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  



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