A rhinoceros walks into a bar wearing a top hat and orders six Jägerbombs and...you should be ashamed of yourself for expecting a punchline. It's obvious this rhinoceros needs help.
Many folks have a possession "bronzed". I'm talking about my b@lls. When she said she wanted something in the driveway that went from 0 to 200 in 2 seconds, maybe I shouldn't have put a bathroom scale out there.
I picked up a Chinese girl last night at a New Year Celebration...we ended up at my place and things got pretty hot. She asked what I wanted, so I said, "69." She said, "You want Beef with Broccoli?"
A flying saucer lands at a gas station. Two aliens got out. On its side were the letters "UFO." The gas station guy goes, "Does that stand for Unidentified Flying Object?" "No", said one of aliens, "Unleaded Fuel Only."
Dan Marino's Love Child: There were no DNA tests. This came about when the mom saw the kid throw her bottle across the room in a perfect spiral hitting her dead center in the face every time.