Danmanz Funny Status Messages

   Kinda funny how a mother goes nuts when her China plates break, but a Chinese person would just make a new one.

   It took a movie like Blindside and Jesse James' cheating ways for Sandra Bullock to decide to adopt a black baby.

   You wanna reduce the "Text While Driving Epidemic?" Just create a phone that will input the text as you speak and read you the text you received.....They can bulid it. They have the technology. To make teens live longer and more responsible.

   In these times, when a celebrity cheats on his wife with multiple women, he gets criticized and exploited everywhere. Back in the founding father days, a man cheats and his face ends up on the 1, 5, 10, 20, 50, and 100 dollar bill.

   Dear Terrorist, I don't get why you kill people in the name of God. If God wanted to take someone's life, I'm pretty sure he wouldn't be asking for your help.

   In the lives of our grandchildren and great grandchildren, OUR iphone and ipad will be THEIR rotary phone and notepad.

   I may be old a hell when Playstation 9 comes out around the year 2072, but I'll feel like a kid when I get my hands on it.

   There is always a double standard when strip clubs have 'All You Can Eat' buffets.

   Dear BP, ....Lower your gas prices a good amount and we'll call it even.

   Terrance & Phillip should've really done the "lighting of the torch" during the Winter Olympics back then.....too late now.

   Its funny how the Simpsons have been around for 21 years and they haven't aged a bit.

   You know what''s so scary, but just so sexy at the same time? A hot woman kicking your a$$ in video games.....in your room.....on your bed.

   If you hated taking quizzes in school, why the hell are you doing them on Facebook......and putting them on my News Feed?

   For the person who picked on you in school, stole your boyfriend/girlfriend from you, spread lies and rumors about you, didn't help you in anyway possible....all of a sudden......wants to be your friend on Facebook.

   I bet Quagmire has tons of child support to pay.

   Homer Simpson vs. Peter Griffin

   When the World calmly tells you, "Give Up" on your struggles to success, You whisper back and say, "Hell...No"

   Did you ever stop to think if some of your friends were actually resulting mistakes made by their parents'...."Get-Together?"

   Quite a number of women put "Ugh" in their statuses to show the stress and pain of their "situation." To me it almost sounds like you're constipated. "Ugh!! I really don't wanna go to work today, ugh!"

   My dog was barking at the back door and my wife was yelling at the front door. I always let the dog in first because at least its shuts up when it gets in the house.