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Doc Noland Funny Status Messages
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Page: 6 of 30
If you don't remember pushing "6" three times to get the letter "O", you're too young for me to text with.
34
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07-12-2012 07:43 by
Doc Noland
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Appropriately, Gaddaffi was killed by a rebel fighter standing in the sunroof of a VW van.
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10-20-2011 12:52 by
Doc Noland
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Let's observe a moment of silence for all the black women who don't have a Q or an apostrophe in their first name.
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08-09-2012 07:38 by
Doc Noland
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The most inappropriate time to tell someone they have the "Moves Like Jagger" is during a seizure.
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01-09-2012 14:47 by
Doc Noland
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Ok, I cant take it anymore. Tampon commercials create an unrealistic expectation of how much fun it is to be around menstruating women.
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10-01-2012 18:45 by
Doc Noland
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How are there 45 shows about storage units and 23 about pawn shops and not a single show about women doing yoga?
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08-21-2012 12:23 by
Doc Noland
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Just saw a girl in cutoff jean shorts so unbelievable short that you could see private parts sticking out the bottom of mine.
83
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05-16-2013 14:54 by
Doc Noland
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Ok, just heard this on a radio... "Up next is Justin Bieber's Boyfriend." My suspicions are confirmed.
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04-14-2012 18:32 by
Doc Noland
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It's a good thing most mens rooms have changing tables because sometimes I need to lay down after I poop.
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05-05-2012 09:34 by
Doc Noland
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Doesn't North Korea understand that these grand threats will result in a harsh musical rebuke from Toby Keith?
36
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01-24-2013 12:23 by
Doc Noland
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the ring of a home phone is becoming the whistle of a steam train+
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03-02-2012 14:06 by
Doc Noland
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Ugh stupid cold weather totally stole my idea to get a lot of attention today.
12
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10-19-2011 20:56 by
Doc Noland
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Fall is fast approaching. Time to sew all my jean legs back on.
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08-22-2013 19:45 by
Doc Noland
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You know 'yer a DRUNK when: You have to go to court to find out what happened !
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03-31-2012 17:24 by
Doc Noland
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Dont be jealous of me... If you had to walk a mile in my shoes, you'd probably need a year of therapy
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05-08-2012 18:58 by
Doc Noland
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I refuse to believe there's enough happiness in the world to justify anyone sticking magnetic daisies on their car.
19
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08-28-2011 13:02 by
Doc Noland
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My definition of clean living is mixing my Jack and Coke with my pinky since it's touched less gross stuff than my other fingers.
19
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11-18-2011 01:00 by
Doc Noland
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If you plan your own birthday party, you really don't have that much to celebrate.
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11-18-2011 01:08 by
Doc Noland
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┐('.'┐) ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ ┐('.'┐) (┌'.')┌ (┌'.')┌ Cause this is Thriiiiiiilleeeeeeer
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10-31-2012 16:17 by
Doc Noland
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it still a disorder if I only cut other people?
30
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11-26-2012 20:01 by
Doc Noland
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