Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Ladies, when I hit on you don't tell me that you're engaged. You're just currently booked. And bookings can be cancelled any time.

   People are like mattresses. You start out firm then end up sagging in the middle.

   I see that you live next door to a pilot. You know, pile it here and pile it there.

   She doesn’t need a sugar daddy, she needs a glucose guardian.

   Someone asked for a donation towards the local swimming pool, so I gave them a glass of water.

   Oops, I’m so sorry! I didn’t know that you were a Special Needs Person. Until you said, “I don’t like The New President of the United States of America.”

   Tump haters are haters of all true Americans. Elitist, cosmopolitan, pompous jerks. Get a job and get a life.

   I don't care that you don't support The President. Hell, you can't even support yourself !

   Anti hate groups protest hate groups for wanting to take away people's rights, by taking away their rights. That kids is a mental illness.

   Hate group gets permit to protest. Anti hate group does not get permit to protest. But the hate group is the criminals for obeying the law.

   You can not take people's right away who want to take other people rights. You become as bad as them. We all have rights, even stupid people like the hate and anti hate group people.

   Porn gives young people an unrealistic and unhealthy idea of how quickly a plumber will come to your house.

   Not standing for the national anthem is considered offensive, but rallying a hate group is considered freedom of speech? I'm convinced, you people are messed up in the head.

   According to most of you people here, I guess the holocaust is considered freedom of speech?

   Did you know that "Go hang a salami, Doc! Note; I dissent. A fast never prevents a fatness. I diet on cod. I’m a lasagna hog." is a palindrome? Now you do..

   We'll take down our Robert E. Lee statues when you take down your Martin Luther King statues.

   I hate it when I get invited to weird events on Facebook. For the fifth time, I do not want to go to your cat's birthday party! Besides, my dog is receiving his First Communion that day.

   People who work on their tablets all day and play games all night are burning the Kindle at both ends.

   Picture Darth Vader singing "These are a Few of My Favorite Things" and you'll have some idea of the kind of thoughts that go through my head daily.

   You don't get to be both a Nazi and a proud American. We literally had a war about this. THE WHOLE WORLD WAS INVOLVED.