Funny Status Messages

   What is this "growing up" thing and how do I avoid it?

   Never under estimate the predictability of stupidity.

   Today's challenge! Walk with the parade and wave, and make people wonder who you are.

   when did the world give up on Common Courtesy

   "Can all those mourners outside Amy Whinehouse's house please form a line......its what she would've wanted!"

   you can tell more about a person's true character after they gain some random wealth

   I don't hate people, I just feel better when they're not around.

   I wrote you a song, man was it tough finding something to rhyme with "Bar Skank"

   According to every arcade in the world, 'AAA' and 'ASS' are the most common initials

   This gallon of ice cream is a new flavor called, "Get Your Own."

   Where there's a will, I want to be in it.

   informs you that contrary to popular belief, "Damn It" is not God's last name

   feeling a few fries short of a happy meal today. . .

   playing russian roulette with Robert DeNiro. Damn he's good.

   If you try and don't succeed, cheat. Repeat until caught. Then lie.

   How the hell are you supposed to fold a fitted sheet?

   Over dramatic people make me want to go on grand theft auto style rampages

   Expecting the world to treat you fairly because you are good is like expecting the bull not to charge because you are a vegetarian.

   My bank lets me send a text message and it'll text back with my balance. It's a cool feature but I didn't think the LOL was necessary.

   : Say this fast-  { I, 1, 2, 1/2, 6} *Like* if you get it