Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Justin Bieber looks like he needs to be cast in a Home Alone movie.

   In hockey and in women.. periods temporarily stop the fun .

   Who is gonna clean the wall after it's built?

   Wonder if Hillary is feeling lonely now that nobody cares about her emails or how corrupt she is?

   the American media now accountable to Putin? I wonder where Russia got the idea that they could make demands of the American media - perhaps from our very own president?

   I think I'll open a Vietnamese restaurant that never closes and call it "Twenty Pho Seven."

   You can steal my status updates but you should know I lick every one of them before I post them.

   Never think of yourself as worthless. Organs go for a lot of money on the black market.

   Dude, you need a Field Goal, two Touchdowns, and two Two-Point Conversions just to take this to overtime. That's impossible! Brady: Hold my beer.

   Give me your tired, your poor, Your huddled masses yearning to breathe free, The wretched refuse of your teeming shore. Send these, the homeless, but no Mexicans. I lift my lamp beside the golden door.

   How do you make White House Soup? You start with a laughing stock and and a whole bunch of nuts.

   Throughout the 90's, during its infancy, the internet was referred to as the Information Superhighway. Little did we realize, that in such a short amount of time, it would become the Information Stupidhighway.

   I woke up this morning and my bedside light had turned into a moth.. Last time I buy a Larvae lamp.

   Throughout the 90's, during its infancy, the internet was referred to as the Information Superhighway. Little did we realize, that in such a short amount of time, it would unfortunately become the Misinformation Stupidhighway.

   Life is a terminal disease, that is sexually transmitted.

   Whatta ya call Kellyann in 6 months? A waitress....

   I don't like your jerk-off name. I don't like your jerk-off face. I don't like your jerk-off behavior, and I don't like you, jerk-off. Do I make myself clear?"

   "You dirt-eating piece of slime, you scum-sucking pig, you son of a motherless goat!"

   You know its cold outside when you trip over dog sh** instead of stepping in it.

   Any amount of toilet paper is a butt-load of toilet paper.