Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I come from a long line of men who will happily answer to a name that is not their own, which may or may not sound vaguely similar to it.

   I'm rubber you're glue. Whatever you say bounces off me and sticks to you. Ma'am, that's not how speeding tickets work.

   Damn girl, are we in a bad western? 'Cause I wanna have an hour long showdown with you that would only take 5 minutes in real life.

   I thought Super Bowl LI was a Pho Soup special at a Vietnamese restaurant.

   Ladies, If a guy mutes the volume during the Super Bowl when you sit down next to him, you need to do one thing. Marry him.

   Thank you Super Bowl for reminding all Americans how bad we really are at understanding Roman numerals......

   I'm a Twinkie in a Dingdong world !

   Thanks to the Super Bowl, I use Roman Numeral's at least once a year. Still more than I use algebra.

   Lady gaga had more yards in the air than Tom Brady.

   Sure, Lady Gaga just put on an amazing show, but she's no 3 Doors Down.

   Lady Gaga covered more field than the Patriot

   It's not that easy to not think about Donny all day. I mean you too would be constantly worried if you left a loony in charge of your house and kids.

   Houston we have a ball game

   When I die I want the Falcons to be my pallbearers so they can let me down one last time

   If I wanted a comeback from Brady I would have scraped the back of his throat

   Now Falcons fans feel like Hillary supporters felt like on election night

   ..... The only thing deflated at this year's Superb owl was the Falcons.

   The Falcons won the popular Vote!

   I haven't seen a lead blown that great since Hillary's 2016 campaign

   Atlanta won the popular vote