Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   If I don't get at least one friend deletion on facebook every now and then, I feel as if I'm being all I can be.

   Generic Frosted Flakes are Oooooooookay!

   These Jehovah's Witnesses are getting creative. They are now knocking on my door dressed as cops saying they have a warrant.

   If God gave you a good singing voice, you should sing loud in church to give thanks. And if God gave you a not-so-good singing voice, you should sing loud in church to get back at Him.

   Remember the protests back in 2011 when Obama stopped the Iraqi refugees from entering the States for six months? Neither do I.

   Canada: Compared to the USA, it's the North American equivalent to the kids' table at a holiday dinner.

   South Americans. They gave the world coffee and tomatoes. It was all downhill from there.

   The American Dream is still Alive folks...You just can't do it as an employee or a Hillary

   Noticed the guy in front of me making a right turn into a cemetery. Tried shouting at him that it's a dead end, but he wouldn't listen...

   Fun new drinking game for parents: Take a shot every time your child screams. Hahaha... Just kidding! Don't do this. You'll die.

   I'm writing this post from the Emergency Room, nothing to worry about. Just turns out my new Dyson Ball Cleaner isn't what I thought it was.

   people with children should be allowed to do things while hiding from their children because children are mini terrorists.

   Too F#CKED up how much of the population has been dumb down to march for rights you already have ! ! !

   Do you swear to tell the truth, the whole truth, & nothing but the truth" ... I choose dare, your honor

   NY and California have he highest number of inbred marriages and incest. So I would say ALOT.

   I went out clubbing lat night. I got 12 baby seals; a new personal record.

   I wish people would stop saying the husbands of the women who marched didn't get a sandwich that day. Have you seen those women? No way any of them have a husband.

   Majority of guys mocking the women march are 30-year old virgins who still live in their mum's basement. Most of them will be m asturbating on Valentine's Day and have never seen a live v agina in their pathetic lives.

   If you want to get a bead on how cuckoo women are, just look at your fb newsfeed.

   You can eat pizza every single day & still lose weight....Alternative fact.