Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

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   messageicon I lost my virginity when I was 15. It was smokin' hot until I bit her thigh and all the air leaked out.
←Rate | 01-26-2017 10:51 by Mickey Comments (0)  


   messageicon It's usually the ones with the dirtiest hands pointing the fingers.
←Rate | 01-26-2017 11:08 Comments (1)  


   messageicon It is times like this that make me laugh at people from the south.Hurricanes & tornados, people still go to work, Snow, deserted streets and empty grocery stores.
←Rate | 01-26-2017 11:14 by @UncleBSolomon Comments (0)  


   messageicon “Catch me outside, how about that?
←Rate | 01-26-2017 11:19 by JCGJ Comments (0)  


   messageicon I hope Mexico doesn't raise the cost of Tequila and Produce to pay for this wall.
←Rate | 01-26-2017 12:12 by @ryanmilano Comments (0)  


   messageicon Children's berry flavored delsym on the rocks... For when you're sick but still want a drink to sip on.
←Rate | 01-26-2017 19:00 by John Y Comments (0)  


   messageicon We all live in a yellow submarine
←Rate | 01-26-2017 22:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I love how when your watching a crime show and they have to tell you that "this is a reenactment" oh really? you mean you didn't actually catch the murder on video?lol
←Rate | 01-27-2017 00:57 Comments (1)  


   messageicon In other news, Buckwheat (of Little Rascals fame) has converted to Islam. His new name is Kareem of Wheat.
←Rate | 01-27-2017 07:08 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Not ALL politicians are liars. Some of them actually believe the stupid crap they say...
←Rate | 01-27-2017 09:41 Comments (0)  


   messageicon *smashes bag of Oreos and pours it on salad* Eating healthy is great
←Rate | 01-27-2017 10:06 by Mikey c Comments (0)  


   messageicon Top 5 things I stare into: 1) My phone. 2) The fridge. 3) Space. 4) The abyss. 5) Your windows.
←Rate | 01-27-2017 11:19 by TallMtnMan Comments (0)  


   messageicon "Shia LaBeouf" sounds like something a French person would say after a really raunchy fart.
←Rate | 01-27-2017 11:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon why call it a tree trimmer and not branch manager
←Rate | 01-27-2017 11:50 by Mikey c Comments (0)  


   messageicon Good lord if you just have to reissue a 20 year old joke, at least get the punchline correct. It's Kareema Wheat, not Kareem of Wheat. God Almighty!
←Rate | 01-27-2017 12:15 by Big 'Un Comments (1)  


   messageicon Ever since I installed AdBlock, all the single ladies in my area seemed to have lost interest.
←Rate | 01-27-2017 13:49 by gremlinsd Comments (0)  


   messageicon That women's march looked like a 200,000 bagger...
←Rate | 01-27-2017 15:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Have you ever been to Columbia ? 2 biggest exports are coffee and cocaine.. and the place still looks like crap. You're gonna be up all night anyways, pick up a broom once in a while.
←Rate | 01-27-2017 21:58 Comments (1)  


   messageicon There are as many white rappers as there are black country singers and for the same reason .
←Rate | 01-27-2017 21:59 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If you say "I shouldn't be telling you this" at the beginning of a conversation people will pay attention to you.
←Rate | 01-27-2017 22:18 Comments (0)  



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