Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I'm really not a "know it all"... For instance, up until recently, I thought cunnilingus was an Irish Airline.

   I just saw Luke Bryan is singing the National Anthem at the Superbowl. So I thought I'd post a preview for everyone....Oh Girl can you see by my pickup's headlights what so proudly we hail on the old dirt road ...

   BREAKING: White House informs the public of excess bread in America resulting from a lack of sandwiches being made this weekend.

   I caught my third girlfriend cheating on me. I only have two left now, makes me sick.

   No matter who's president , Elvis is still the king

   Alternative facts. What most good and honorable americans call lies. May God have mercy on our souls.

   n't the bigger question: How many people attended the Hillary Inauguration?

   Patriots are going to the Superbowl....The NFL is going to assign someone to check Tom Brady's balls throughout the game....don't want that on my resume

   If you're a welder than knows how to lay pipe, you're about to get RICH , !!!!!!

   there any way to really know how many camouflage shirts are in your house?

   Why do motorcyclists point at the road when they pass each other? Is it a reminder?

   So...if all Cinderalla's clothes turned back to rags at midnight, how did that one slipper stay glass? Maybe she should have ripped off all her clothes instead.

   I don't get why all these people are saying "Not My Precedent!" Do they share a shameful past?

   My new phone just autocorrected kindergarten to Kardashian. That my dear people, is exactly what is wrong with this world.

   If your phone is autocorrecting kindergarten to Kardashian, the world is not wrong, it's your search habits.

   The drummer for the Allman Brothers band has passed away. That means only three more drummers, four more guitar players, and a doped up keyboard player to go.

   if I had a nickel for everytime someone told me I'm bad at math,id have 47 cents

   What do you get a girl who has everything ? Penicillin

   Mexico is paying for the wall in the form of tarriffs on goods imported from there.

   If I were an actual snowflake, ie the feathery ice crystal with a sixfold symmetry, I'd be highly insulted.