Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Face your life, don't Facebook your life

   Some people don't have issues… They have a whole subscription

   Deja poo. The feeling that you've been through this crap before

   Porn is the one industry where segregating races, genders, sexual preference, is totally acceptable.

   Whoever determined that a 1 inch size candy bar should be called "fun sized" need to reevaluate their entertainment expectations

   ...... No people ... the change in governmental administrations is not a sane reason to descend into a real life "Hunger Games" in this country .... Believe it or not it has actually happened before!!

   Fellas.. got itchy balls? Use Vicks vapor rub... your welcome

   I'll be at tomorrows inauguration. Don't folks, I'll bring back some real funny demi-crats status stuff.

   Thinking about opening a lingerie shop for plus size women ....... Gonna call it KING THONG

   I think I can beat up a group of ninjas. According to the movies, they must attack you one at a time while everyone else rocks back and forth in a absurd manner. So I think I have a chance!!!!

   All Slip and Fall classes will be cancelled after the Inauguration.

   If you're constantly sharing old memories on Facebook, does that mean you can't let go of your past?

   TODAY IS THE DAY OF ST. JUDE THADDEUS, PATRON SAINT OF IMPOSSIBLE CAUSES. If our new President ever needed all the help in the universe in straightening out the mess of the past 8 years, this Saint is the one.

   Ya know, that damn commercial lies! I spent 3 hrs yelling out my window "Its MY money and I want it now!!" Only thing I got was ticket for disturbing the peace!

   If the Russians Hacked the election system .... Wouldn't it be the candidate with the Most votes/Popular vote that the Russians were supporting?

   Today, my president is black. Tomorrow, my president is orange. I guess orange really is the new black

   Circus shuts down..Obama leaves office... Coincidence? I think not

   I just ate a whole jar of expired mayonnaise!

   What do I like most about people? Their dogs....

   CONGRATS PRESIDENT OBAMA. You are truly a milestone. First president in our history to be at war for his WHOLE TERM. Great way to earn that Nobel Peace Prize.