Tjshome.com
Funny Status Messages
Submit Status
TJ's Blog
Image Filters
Contact US
Funny Status Messages
|
Recent Comments
|
Submit a Status Message
Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
View All Funny Status Messages
Sort:
Recent
|
Oldest
|
Rating
Trump Filter:
ON
|
OFF
Search Messages:
«Prev
«1
5465
5466
5467
5468
5469
5470
5471
5472
5576
Next»
Page: 5469 of 5576
♫ All in all, it’s just a… nother post on my wall. ♫
7
3
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:32
Comments (
0
)
Q: why are your eyes covered in ketchup? A: because Heinz sight is 20/20.
5
6
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:33
Comments (
0
)
I've never bitten off more than I can chew, but once I put too much mouthwash in my mouth and couldn't swish it around.
9
2
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:34
Comments (
0
)
I seem pretty put together for a grown man who imagines he's traveling through a wormhole each time he pulls a turtleneck over his head.
4
3
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:34
Comments (
0
)
A total of 11 lawmakers in the new Congress are freshmen. Their parents helped them move in over the weekend.
7
2
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:34
Comments (
0
)
The first order of business for the 115th Congress: blaming everything on the 114th Congress.
14
3
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:35
Comments (
0
)
The biggest growth companies in D. C. right now are Moving Companies.
6
2
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:35
Comments (
0
)
Tip for next month: Celebrate Valentines Day responsibly, or you'll be celebrating Thanksgiving in a maternity ward
7
3
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:36
Comments (
0
)
“It’s the little things in life that make you laugh,” my mom used to say. I never understood it until I saw two midgets at Walmart.
10
3
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:36
Comments (
0
)
During the first two weeks of January, people often resolve to lose weight, which is great for me because the line at Golden Corral is much shorter.
10
2
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:38
Comments (
0
)
some babies are born premature but I was born very mature I just came out and I was like so what
3
8
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:57
Comments (
0
)
I love cloning as much as the next guy. Who is also me.
10
4
←Rate |
01-07-2017 17:59
Comments (
0
)
Heres how to make me cry: take a picture of two old people and write 'best friends' on it.
4
12
←Rate |
01-07-2017 18:00
Comments (
0
)
You know you're ugly when my dog has to close his eyes to hump your leg.
10
3
←Rate |
01-08-2017 20:07 by
Busterboxer
Comments (
0
)
Frankly auto correct... i'm getting really tired of your shirt
9
9
←Rate |
01-08-2017 21:18 by
Migasjoe
Comments (
0
)
If you find yourself in a fair fight, your tactics suck.
6
2
←Rate |
01-09-2017 08:57
Comments (
0
)
The truth is, I find it very stressful that Smokey the Bear thinks that I'm the only one that can prevent forest fires. I don't feel trained for this, and I certainly didn't sign up for the position.
7
7
←Rate |
01-09-2017 08:58
Comments (
0
)
I'm trying to get a grip on reality and when I do, I'm going to choke the living snot out of it.
10
3
←Rate |
01-09-2017 08:58
Comments (
0
)
Well the Christmas tree is out of the house, and back on the rear view mirror.
19
5
←Rate |
01-09-2017 09:19
Comments (
0
)
They say you're not supposed to go to the grocery store when you're hungry. It's been several days now, what should I do?
27
4
←Rate |
01-09-2017 15:21
Comments (
0
)
«Prev
«1
5465
5466
5467
5468
5469
5470
5471
5472
5576
Next»
Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:
X says
X is
X was
X has
X
...
characters left
Read the Rules
Site Links
Home
Funny Status Messages
Status Message Generator
TJ's Blog
About Tjshome
Contact Us
Privacy
© 1999 - 2021 Tjshome.com