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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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OK... I think it's time for 2016 to die before any more good people do....
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12-28-2016 21:00
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I gave Santa Chocolate Laxative chip cookies...
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12-28-2016 21:09 by
JAB
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Why in the hell is 2016 letting Kanye West live?
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12-28-2016 21:41
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OK 2016 there are still a few days left ... so I nominate Hillary and the Kardashians just to ballance things out ...
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12-29-2016 01:21
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They say 50% of #status updates are written while sitting on the #toilet That's why I don't buy used mobile #phones .
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12-29-2016 09:11 by
@UncleBSolomon
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Men in white windowless van's have the worst candy.
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12-29-2016 10:01
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my beer never tells me it has a girlfriend.
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12-29-2016 10:07
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Can someone tell me when Santa is coming? He forgot some of the stuff I asked for
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12-29-2016 10:35 by
jitney
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I'm going to an all white New Year's Eve party and I have nothing to wear
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12-29-2016 10:36
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Carrie Fisher will forever stake claim on the title of Best Buns.
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12-29-2016 11:32
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This milk tastes like gorgonzola cheese. The sell by date is 12/29. Never mind. 12/29/15.
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12-29-2016 12:04 by
Fazzella
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Never criticise your husband's faults. It may have been those little imperfections which stopped him from getting a better wife.
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12-29-2016 13:01 by
Yaj
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One of my biggest fears is I'll marry into a family that runs 5Ks on holidays
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12-29-2016 14:52
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I installed a pet door over the weekend, and the dog barked at it, and the cat pissed on it, but the raccoons have got the idea.
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12-29-2016 16:57 by
SEAN
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I'll call and report my car as stolen before I admit that I forgot where I parked it.
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12-29-2016 17:00 by
SEAN
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With all the deaths in 2016, there is one worth celebrating. Obama's failed legacy.
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12-29-2016 18:09 by
Fazzella
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ETC.....End of Thinking Capacity.
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12-29-2016 18:19
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My favorite yoga pose? Downward facing nap.
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12-29-2016 18:23
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On average, a person has sex 86 times a year. Apparently, this is going to be one hell of a weekend for me.
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12-29-2016 18:42 by
Adam
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2016 goes from bad to worse: Nickelback is still a band
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12-29-2016 20:29
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