Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Instead of RIP, do Hindus put BRB on their gravestones?

   The smallest woman can break the biggest man in the world with three little words: Is it in?

   Nothing sucks worse then buying a girl drinks all night and watching her leave with another dude.

   The wizard of oz is the ultimate chick flick, two women trying to kill each other over shoes

   am I the only one who gets the urge to kick small children when I see them walking really slowly in front of me?

   The mullet is a helmet for domestic violence.

   World population rankings: 1:China 2:India 3:Facebook 4:USA

   Laundry, my old nemesis…so we meet again. And I see you have brought your sidekick, Dirty Dishes with you. Well played evil villian, well played.

   My girlfriend got f**ked by a clown before we dated. So I have some pretty big shoes to fill.

   Wanted, Teenager owners manuel for models 1993 thru 1996. Must be kid tested and mother approved.

   taking a trip to the "far side" today.. Yes.. I am going to Wal-Mart..

   I must be lost. I thought paradise was further south.

   if I was a squirrel, and you were a tree I would store my nuts in your hole.

   Micheal Jackson was as straight as curly fries.....

   Sometimes a big fish in a small pond is just a fat guy in a baby pool.

   has just killed thier relationship asking "is it in?"

   I am constantly washing my hands just in case I am required to deliver a baby in a broken elevator.

   ...the good news: the Rangers are going to the Finals!! the bad news: wrong Rangers :(

   flooding newsfeeds with youtube videos....

   Game set match = tennis : set match run = arson.