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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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Can't believe how divided we've become over an election. It's not like it's the color of a dress or something.
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10-25-2016 02:06
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Looking for a vegan alternative to cauliflower.
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10-25-2016 02:07
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I've never done a triathlon but I did accompany my wife to Michael's, Hobby Lobby, & Joann's to find the perfect autumn table setting.
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10-25-2016 02:09
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This pumpkin patch better have a vintage tractor for us to take pictures on. I'm very serious about this.
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10-25-2016 02:09
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Forgot to unlink my Pinterest account from Facebook and now my entire fight club knows how I'm decorating our annual pumpkin patch party.
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10-25-2016 02:10
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I take all my Christmas pictures a couple months early before I put on all the serious weight.
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10-25-2016 02:11
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Cashier just yelled at me to remove my chip card from the reader like I left a dog in a hot car.
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10-25-2016 02:12
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Do gun manuals have a "trouble shooting?" section?
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10-25-2016 02:23 by
thejoke.cafe
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Got a white noise machine. Not sure how listening to people talk about GoT and pumpkin spice will help me sleep
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10-25-2016 05:37 by
unknown comic
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I'm so hungry I could eat a farm-raised, grass-fed, free-range, fair trade, organic, no-added antibiotics or hormones horse.
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10-25-2016 06:57
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What do I call people who don't like Halloween? Boring. I call them boring.
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10-25-2016 10:04
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When you put "LOL" onto the end of your text message, it acts like a flotation device so the message doesn't sink into sadness. LOL
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10-25-2016 13:27
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Talking to you makes my ovaries hurt.
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10-25-2016 15:51 by
April
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Wait, free healthcare premiums are going up again?? Don't worry Democrats, it'll be announced after your fools elect you...
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10-25-2016 19:52
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I can't decide whether to vote for the crooked liar or the lying crook...
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10-25-2016 20:00
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Just once I'd like someone to say to me "sheesh your girl's hot as sh1t."
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10-25-2016 23:04
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The only people watching your Facebook Live Streaming are your stalkers.
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10-26-2016 04:42
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There is no doubt in my mind that if people could vote from their couch at home on their X-box or PlayStation, Hillary would win in a landslide.
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10-26-2016 10:38 by
Fazzella
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Some folks exercise their right to vote. I vote my right to not exercise.
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10-26-2016 11:19 by
Fazzella
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I think Christmas must be near, The bin man said good morning to me.
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10-26-2016 11:47 by
thejoke.cafe
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