Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   You know I think its real messed up that clubs have "Ladies Night" where a bunch of them can go and drink free for a while and dance...But they dont have a "Guys Night" where dudes can do the same...??Oh wait??..That sounds kinda gay...NEVERMIND

   Does this status make my wall look big..

   You had me at an extra hour of sleep.

   My cable goes out more than I do.......How sad!!

   When I see a ugly girl looking In the mirror I like run to the mirror & throw water at it & say,"see your ugliness made it cry"....

   Went down the doctors today because I have been hearing voices coming from my Pants.The doctor said " Ignore them they're just Talking Bollocks!"

   Facebook employee got fired....Why? He was on Facebook every day at work.

   I want to break down your wall so I can build another one around us.

   I'm wearing that smile you gave me.

   The world is at peace when you're eating a burrito.

   Hey websites, I will always "skip intro", so knock it off.

   I never quite know exactly what I'm talking about.

   It's true we don't know what we've got until its gone, but we don't know what we've been missing until it arrives.

   Someone from Facebook Design should write about why they made the news feed font smaller. I just want to understand why.

   I can hear the Pink Panther theme song playing inside my head. I may or may not be getting into all kinds of mischief this afternoon.

   I say "haha" or "lol" in almost every single text message I write.

   Immediately updating your relationship status on Facebook after a fight for the 10th time this week is annoying, cut it out.

   Sometimes you gotta have a Jimmy Carter before you can have a Ronald Reagan.

   They say the universe is expanding...shouldn't that ease up the traffic?

   lesson of the day ; never sneeze while you pee