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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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if at first you don't succeed, maybe you just suck!!!
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11-12-2010 14:23
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did you just say something?Or did your brain fart!
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11-12-2010 13:49 by
Wolf
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Female drivers: The reason people look both ways when crossing a one way street.
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11-12-2010 13:34 by
@clarkysj
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My friend says my jokes don't make any sense and the punchlines are too obscure. Which is quite funny really when you consider his uncle used to grow his own onions.
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11-12-2010 13:33 by
@clarkysj
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Ok, slow down people. We're starting to evolve in the wrong direction.
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11-12-2010 13:31 by
Aaron
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Husband: "I don't know why you wear a bra, you've go nothing to put in it." Wife: "You wear briefs, don't you?"
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11-12-2010 13:23 by
Hannibal
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What's the speed limit of sex? 68; at 69 you have to turn around.
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11-12-2010 13:22 by
Hannibal
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My father was stupid. He worked in a bank and they caught him stealing pens.
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11-12-2010 13:10 by
Hannibal
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Bride: A woman with a fine prospect of happiness behind her.
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11-12-2010 13:09 by
Hannibal
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A friend in need is a pest indeed.
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11-12-2010 13:01 by
Hannibal
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I Can't find my phone! Could you call it? Oh wait, it was only in my pocket.. haha got you're Number!"
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11-12-2010 12:29 by
Dylan Bosch
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Somthing always tells me, be camera ready when I go into Walmart..
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11-12-2010 12:07 by
Wolf
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just saw the headline "Garfield cartoonist apologizes" and my first thought was "About time. That comic strip has been lame for decades"
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11-12-2010 11:10 by
mickeybruce
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at this moment in time I could really punch someone in the face
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11-12-2010 10:50
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went to Wal-Mart this afternoon and discovered that some people think Febreeze is a substitution for doing laundry.
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11-12-2010 10:28 by
Nate
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1
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got pulled over and was told by the officer to walk the white line; I told "not without a net"
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11-12-2010 10:05
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new twinkie diet???? I been on that one since I was 5 yrs old!
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11-12-2010 10:02
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Every morning after my coffee I use the skills I learned while taking Lamaze classes: Breathing techniques, and timing the contractions.
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11-12-2010 10:00 by
Mike M
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wondering if you have multiple personalities and threaten to kill yourself, is it considered a hostage situation?
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11-12-2010 09:47 by
Michael Askins
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wondering why Facebook bothers to give the option of "liking" my own comment? Of course I like my own comments. I'm awesome.
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11-12-2010 09:44 by
Michael Askins
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