Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   amazed what she can do with a broccoli, when she puts her mind to it.

   MYTH NUMBER 6.... Liquor Before Beer, Never Fear.

   Bought a dog that gives up chasing a cat after about 10 seconds. So I'm calling it Quits.

   Just for fun, I left a note of this guys car at Wal-Mart that said, "Sorry for backing into your car". That should keep him busy for a few minutes.

   idiot noun \ˈi-dē-ət\ - One who disagrees with me

   A sack of corn nuts and a good Vogue magazine. And I m just fine

   Its not that I'm not that into you. Its more that I'm not into you at all.

   Betty Crocker likes to spoon?

   as of today I will no longer use "lol" after my comments or posts...I will now use "snicker".

   How long does it take for an ejaculation to become mature?

   Ahhh,,, Confucius say...I know I had it in my hand a minute ago.

   I hate getting wet...it always makes little animals pop out of my bac!

   Drunk Midgets....i'm pretty sure this is what people come to the internet for.

   I have too much respect for the idea of God to make it responsible for such an absurd world. ~ Georges Duhamel (1884 - 1966)

   Cam Newton is being investigated on animal cruelty charges because apparently video evidence shows him applying beatings to bulldogs, hogs, tigers, chickens, bears, wildcats & wolves. He's stated his intention to beat elephants, ducks & dawgs soon...

   Dont tell me the sky is the limit when there are damn footprints on the moon.

   Bought a horse that lost its last race on purpose. So, I'm calling it Quits.

   Ever been sitting in church and get that feeling, you know the one........like when someone is trying to sell you a crappy used car.

   thanks to Mucinex, I always think of my boogers as being dressed like Archie Bunker and lounging in my nose...

   Huh, it turns out those WERE droids we were looking for! Son of a b@&*h!