Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |   Oldest   |   Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5353 of 5576

   messageicon Q: Is there intelligent life form on planet Earth? A: Only in a few areas.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 00:37 Comments (1)  


   messageicon In Yugoslavia. In Yugoslavia, you never starve.. Great stones song man ...
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:06 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ryan Lochte will be teaching swimming lessons at the community pool starting next week.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:17 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ryan Lochte joins latest "Dancing with the Stars" cast, claims Tom Bergeron robbed him at gunpoint.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I can't imagine anyone let alone the B-52's walked outta the Love Shack STD free.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:20 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Apartment websites should at least have basic info like price, size, and if the upstairs neighbors sound like horses playing musical chairs.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon If I die by gunshot, at my funeral I want at least three midgets re-enacting the 'bullet scene' from The Matrix.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon The sound of college vending machines is the sound of me never getting the body I want.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:22 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Celebrating 100 years of people getting false news on the Internet.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:24 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Considering they got in a car and floated off into the sky I'd really like to know where Danny and Sandy went off to....
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:25 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Why do they always have 5K runs for charity? Just once, couldn’t they have a sit for charity or nap for charity?
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon You can sell your left over weight watchers points on ebay.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Carpool Karaoke except they crash and explode into a ball of flames.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:27 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Not to be a downer but after being gone for 33 years now I'm starting to suspect that my Dad isn't still out buying cigarettes....
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:28 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Don’t believe cartoons. No matter how hard you throw a toilet plunger, it won’t actually stick to someone’s face.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:29 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Vegan zombies never stop talking about how they only eat vegetarians.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Cheer up, Ryan Lochte! You might have lost your Speedo sponsorship, but Just For Men is interested in making you their new spokesman.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 15:39 Comments (0)  


   messageicon I'm never sure how much ball cleavage to show when I wear my Casual Friday Jean Shorts
←Rate | 08-26-2016 19:28 by Marshall the Great Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ann Coulter only flies Southwest, because "bags fly free".
←Rate | 08-26-2016 19:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon My last girlfriend said she wanted a commitment so I made a large purchase on her credit card.
←Rate | 08-26-2016 23:02 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left