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Page: 534 of 5593
Do you think St. Patrick is looking down from heaven thinking, "What are they doing? I hated beer and the color green."
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03-17-2013 07:17 by
flinnie
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I don't run away from my problems. That's immature. I ignore them.
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03-21-2013 17:43
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An organization can be famous for being a bad example.
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11-01-2013 15:02
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Nick Foles gets a concussion, wakes up thinking he's Peyton Manning.
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11-03-2013 19:51
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You know all those things you've wanted to do....you should do them!
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11-22-2013 16:52
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I also refuse to turn the beat around........
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01-20-2016 18:52
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Blow jobs are a great last minute gift idea for Valentine's Day.
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02-14-2016 15:05
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1990: call me on the new line in my room 2000: call me on my mobile flip phone 2015: don't call me
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03-26-2016 14:34 by
Aaron
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My Life Coach just explained to me that I've been in the placebo group.
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05-02-2016 07:08 by
snotty
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Bought a water at the airport and now one of my kids can't go to college.
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05-02-2016 19:23 by
Snotty
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This election is just dragging on too long. It's like the world's longest Nicolas Cage movie...
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05-03-2016 14:28 by
eengrms
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Starting to think that guy in the mirror doesn't like me.
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05-09-2016 18:07
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Dear America, feel free to use me whenever you want. Sincerely, common sense.
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05-13-2016 05:40
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At my age I can no longer function without my glasses. Especially when they're empty.
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05-15-2016 06:28
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If you leave a bottle of Ritalin inside a Ford Fiesta it will become a Ford Focus.
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05-28-2016 00:58
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It costs over $235,000 for parents to raise a child today. And that's just for the alcohol.
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05-30-2016 06:09
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Are you tired of wal-mart rushing our holiday's? I can't believe it, They already have birthday cards out and it's still months away from my birthday!!!!
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06-05-2016 08:50 by
Jerry Carter
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Throwing out a stale donut today. Please respect my privacy at this very difficult time.
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06-10-2016 01:35
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I wonder what our parents did for fun before the internet.. I asked my 16 brothers and sisters, but none of them know .. weird !
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06-11-2016 14:36
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I think Suge Knight pays someone to shoot him before the VMAs so he doesn't have to sit through them
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08-24-2014 23:02 by
@mykelhawk
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