Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   A man at the airport bar is now criticizing "the lamestream media" for "liberal" reporting and "spelling 'speech' without the A".

   I learned all I need to know about race relations from watching C.Thomas Howell's heart felt film Soul Man six times.

   BREAKING: Chris Christie spotted working valet at the RNC.

   I can't believe they're going to remake Little Women with an all-female cast.

   A date so bad instead of just saying goodnight you both write Victim Impact Statements.

   Due to recent events, I'm deducting a full three stars from my Yelp review of Earth.

   A fun thing to do when your co-workers go to Chipotle for lunch is to put up “Out of Order” signs on all the bathrooms.

   I started reading more because for like 6 years I thought Sharia Law was a Street Fighter character.

   All of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles are over 21. Sorry to ruin the franchise for you.

   Iced coffee, for when you need to chug your coffee but don't want to lose five layers of skin on the roof of your mouth.

   You put a couch on your back porch you're considered trashy but put a grill next to it and tent over it and you're rich.

   Filter pics should come with a Disclaimer" Some objects may appear more beautiful than they realy are"

   Yesterday was A slight fumble, but I think Melania's really gonna shine in the swimsuit portion of the competition...

   "We do not consider Melania's speech to be plagarism....As there was no intent to plagarism" - FBI Director Comey

   "Melania's Speech was 100% real... Trust Me I was THERE!" - Brian Williams

   Whenever my parents talk about "the good old days", they always seem to stop at 1990. Which is pretty cool, because that's also the year I was born... wait... what?

   I have an electric stove, but I prefer acoustic. The proceeding random thought was for all my musician friends........

   Of course Melania's speech sucked, Michelle wrote it......

   “When cops come to save your life, they don’t ask if you are black or white, they just come to save you!” -------- Rudy Giuliani

   Awe c'mon folks .... No matter what you have to say about the big plagiarism scandal ...... You do have to admit that Melania definitely said it better!!