Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

View All Funny Status Messages

Sort:  Recent   |  Oldest  |  Rating
Trump Filter: ON | OFF


Search Messages:
Page: 5306 of 5576

   messageicon "Until death do us part” means we're all single in heaven, right?
←Rate | 12-03-2010 02:34 by Adam K Denny Comments (0)  


   messageicon Honk if you love God, text while driving if you want to meet him...
←Rate | 12-02-2010 23:22 by Sam K Comments (0)  


   messageicon How did Miley Cyrus get a pack a day smoker voice at 18?
←Rate | 12-02-2010 23:03 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Ur as slutty as a bowling ball, you get picked up, fingered, thrown down an alley and still come back for more...=P
←Rate | 12-02-2010 22:45 Comments (0)  


   messageicon This is a 1:1 scale model of a Facebook update.
←Rate | 12-02-2010 21:58 Comments (0)  


   messageicon It was love at first sight. Then I took a second look without the beer googles.
←Rate | 12-02-2010 20:09 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Do car companies REALLY think it's possible that a spouse is secretly able to obtain financing, purchase a car, have it wrapped in a bow, and delivered on Christmas Eve?
←Rate | 12-02-2010 18:28 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Facebook: We're all here because we're not all there
←Rate | 12-02-2010 18:18 Comments (0)  


   messageicon When I was a little kid I use to wait for Mrs. Butterworth to talk to me but she never did......I HATE HER
←Rate | 12-02-2010 17:09 by wendy rafferty Comments (0)  


   messageicon If at 1st you don't succeed, being a magician that saws people in half might not be for you.
←Rate | 12-02-2010 15:42 Comments (0)  


   messageicon There's a reason stressed is "desserts" spelled backwards!
←Rate | 12-02-2010 15:26 Comments (0)  


   messageicon checking out your facebook albums hoping to see some bikini photos of your girlfriend.
←Rate | 12-02-2010 15:21 Comments (0)  


   messageicon All I want for Christmas is for my wife to swallow my egg nog one time!
←Rate | 12-02-2010 15:07 Comments (18)  


   messageicon WHY IS A CHRISTMAS TREE BETTER THAN A MAN ? IT STAYS UP FOR 30 DAYS & NIGHTS, HAS CUTE BALLS & LOOKS GOOD WITH THE LIGHTS ON
←Rate | 12-02-2010 15:05 Comments (1)  


   messageicon Dear Mr. guy that honks his horn right when the light turns green, it's not gonna work so well when I rip it out and shove it down your throat!
←Rate | 12-02-2010 14:30 Comments (3)  


   messageicon Its so cold, Starbucks was serving coffee on a stick
←Rate | 12-02-2010 13:46 Comments (0)  


   messageicon SNOWBALL FIGHT !!!"o´¯`❄.¸(░) `O.¸¸.¸. o´¯`❄. ¸(░) `O. ❄。 ¨¯`*✲ ´*。. ❄¨¯`*✲。 ❄*´*。 ✲O. ¸¸. ¸. o´¯`o. ¸ (░) `O. ¸¸.✲. ¸. o´¯`¸. o´¯`❄¸ (░) `O. ¸¸. ¸.✲´¯`o. ¸ (░) `O. ¸❄。 `O.
←Rate | 12-02-2010 13:32 Comments (0)  


   messageicon thanks Obama......my advent calendar has pictures of Repo-Men, foreclosure notices and disconnect notices.
←Rate | 12-02-2010 13:10 Comments (4)  


   messageicon nicotine patches are great !! stick one of each eye and you cant find your cigarettes..
←Rate | 12-02-2010 12:05 Comments (0)  


   messageicon Today's secret word is Bieber. Everytime someone says it, punch them with authority.
←Rate | 12-02-2010 11:58 Comments (0)  



Submit your own funny facebook status message here:
Name:
Status Message:

... characters left