Funny Status Messages

   Wonders why people stare at you when they catch you talking to yourself...EXCUSE ME but I'm having a conversation here!!!

   Life was so simple back when we didn't need a Username and a Password.

   if it wasn't obvious before, it should be now.....The 80s had the best cartoons.

   wonders...if a cow gets struck by lightning, is that fast food?

   The best thing about this status is by the time you realize it's completely worthless it's too late for you to stop reading it. ;)

   Lord, please place one hand over my shoulder and the other over my mouth!! Thank you!

   wants to give someone jello and chopsticks and then sit back and watch the show!

   Playing Wheel Of Fortune- Phrase G_F_CK Y_ _RS_LF ..would you like to solve or would you like to buy a vowel??

   How soon is too soon to introduce handcuffs into a relationship?

   Was always told to practice the Golden Rule-treat others like I wanted to be treated...so I spanked you and pulled your hair.

   You've been banged more times than a ketchup bottle!

   why have rifles, bombs and guns when you can have the good oul fashioned snowball

   Since when does 3-6 inches of snow draw the need for a winter storm warning? Back when I was a kid, we just called that winter.

   Wonders if a Facebook "Poke" is equivalent to a "Quickie". Please tell me, I'm not the only one who has pondered this...

   "Duct tape" - finding a cure to noise pollution, one mouth at a time.

   I see Charlie Brown hittin' on Jessica Rabbitt, Transformers talkin dirty to Sailor Moon, Daria sxting Rainbow Brite, Woodpeckers and Woodys gettin buzz lightyeared, wtf .. I'm goin back 2 sleep

   Like this status if you have ever tried to accomplish something before the microwave timer ends.

   attempting to work the word "Flagrant" in to my conversations this afternoon as I just like saying it!

   Thinks its funny when people read someone elses status & start to wonder if it has something to do with them.

   Why does everyone say, "Calgon, take me away!" when they are having a bad day? Calgon doesn't have anything on a little bit of whiskey or beer.