Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   Bernie Sanders endorcing Hillary Clinton feels so much like when the girl you love starts dating the guy you hate most.

   Flipping past the Bachelorette and immediately was texted by CVS letting me know my Valtrex prescription was filled.

   You know you're old when you think "pokemon" is a gay rastafarian

   The hardest thing about looking for work is the sobriety.

   America, we can't even put the grocery carts in the corral how the hell do we think we can elect the right person.

   The Ghostbusters reboot has ruined more childhoods than the Catholic Church.

   Haven't played Pokemon Go so I couldn't be part of any conversations at work today.

   Here's to Obama's trip to Dallas. May it go as well as JFK's

   The weather today was good enough for me to feel ashamed about my body.

   Should eat more fruit flavored things like blue raspberry slush. I've never even see a blue raspberry because they are very rare.

   Who says building a border wall won't work? The Chinese built one over 2,000 years ago and they still don't have any Mexicans.

   Just got up to go to the bathroom and realised I left my work ID swipe card in my jacket. Found the jacket, checked the pockets. Found it. Then realised I didn't need my swipe ID to use the bathroom AT MY HOUSE....😑

   Lazy rule #1: Can't reach it. Don't need it.

   Hillary sucks

   You know you had a long 14hr night at work, when driving home you have to swerve to miss a tree,. Then realize it's an air freshener hanging from the rear view mirror.

   Kat Denning's b00bs are the life preservers which save 2 Broke Girls.

   Pokemon Go - Showing how easy it is to get sheep to follow.

   Coworker: I have an announcement to make. We are expecting twins. Me: Congrats on having 2 kids with the same father!

   I thought that Pokemon Go was a facebook app that encourages Jamaicans to use the Poke feature.

   Pokemon Lives Matter