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Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump
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IF I cared, I'd draw you a map of your ass with an X marking the spot where your head is buried."
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12-17-2010 12:50
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i like to say a BIG HAPPY CHRISTMAS to the person who dropped money on the floor today.thank you
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12-17-2010 12:12 by
brendan gault
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With the fuel prices as high as they are, I'm actually hoping for coal this year!
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12-17-2010 10:51
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thinks Santa should send all the naughty people Justin Bieber CDs instead of coal for Christmans
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12-17-2010 10:26
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I am going to open a coffee house and charge more than Starbucks. The sign above my cafe will be written ever so elegantly, "Voler Votre Argent."
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12-17-2010 10:21
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I'm sending my friends Justin Beiber CDs because fruitcake is a traditional Christmas gift.
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12-17-2010 10:21
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Santa is too real! I saw him outside the liquor store last night and he smells of Bourbon and Marlboros.
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12-17-2010 10:13
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I'm an angel, the horns are just there to keep the halo straight
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12-17-2010 09:25 by
@buddz31
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Fricken spellcheck. Looks like Santa will be bringing me a nice piece of glass this year.
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12-17-2010 09:24
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I'm never disappointed. everything happens for a reason. I jus get pissed waiting to see what dat reason was exactly.
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12-17-2010 08:07 by
bijoux
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Winter Weather: where a couple of inches will keep a woman in bed all day.
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12-17-2010 07:28 by
Wolf
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I finally got my own back for Christmas shopping. I took my girlfriend into 8 different pubs without a drink, and then went back into the first one and bought a pint.
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12-17-2010 07:24 by
@clarkysj
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I hate the way cats stare like they got something on you.
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12-17-2010 03:16
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All I want for Christmas is a Komodo Dragon named Pookie.
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12-17-2010 03:11
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Christmas shopping is a pain in the cash.
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12-17-2010 02:02 by
Aaron
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My doctor recently took me off all my medications. It turns out I'm really an 82 year old man named Morris from Staten Island.
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12-17-2010 01:58 by
Aaron
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Merry Winter Solstice....sugar coat it all you want with your own personal ignorance
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12-17-2010 01:16 by
e
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Oh Facebook! you go through more Design Changes than Women do wid clothes!!
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12-17-2010 00:38 by
Ron
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My mom woke me up today at 2, I was so hung over, she told me I needed to get a job, I told her I got 3 last night.
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12-16-2010 22:09
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If New things are supposed to be an improvement over their previous version, I would really hate to visit the original Jersey.
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12-16-2010 21:29
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