Forget Trump - Funny Status Messages that are not about Trump

   I dream of a world where chickens can cross the road without having their motives questioned.

   Until this recent Facebook trend I would have never guessed how many people were behind me in line with a gun under their shirt..

   Disney will install warning signs to prevent future alligator attacks but sadly most alligators are illiterate.

   It's cool that both Twitter and Games of Thrones are all about 140 characters.

   Your "Restroom For Customer Only" sign means nothing without a lock.

   Before the internet, no one had successful spelled the word "hemorrhoids".

   Your body is not a wonderland. It is a city park, at best.

   I always wonder if the KKK pay double time for working on MLK Day or do they just get a new set of sheets with a higher thread count?

   I haven't dated since the 1990's, do people still use the pickup line "Wassssssupp?"

   Don't think I should wear my heart on my sleeve anymore....because that's usually where I sneeze and wipe my nose.

   There's a time and place for hipster beards. That time is the Civil War and that place is a stockade in a Confederate camp.

   Worst Wedding Processional Song: Carrie Underwood's "Before He Cheats"

   From what I've read, Jesus never had a problem with gay people. He also never wore pants.

   Rich People's Problems: Not remembering the names of the maid's 9 children.

   The last time I had sex was when Tom Selleck was in a good movie.

   When you're feeding pigeons, you're really feeding doves from Hell.

   Frito Lay should roll out a new cinnamon sugar version of Cheetos called Sweetos, they will also help you acquire Diabetos.

   Interesting idea, Ice Cube should change his name to Soft Drink.

   The 'man bun'.....A hair raising trend.

   Not now. I'm busy on ebay. Making the most of my 'me' time.