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Fubu shirt- $100 ; Rocca Wear sweatshirt- $80 ; Sean John hat- $50 ; Realizing you're white... Priceless. 
There are two things I cannot stand: racism and asians
I've never gone to bed with an ugly woman, but I've sure woken up with a few.
Licking pu$sy is like playing with the mafia: one wrong move and your in deep sh*t.
I you don't go to other peoples funerals, they won't go to yours.
Reality is the leading cause of stress amongst those in touch with it. ~Jane Wagner
Okay, who put a "stop payment" on my reality check?
If normal is a relative term, then why aren't my relatives normal?
A computer once beat me at chess, but it was no match for me at kick boxing.
Hates when he gets really comfortable in bed just to relize he left the over head light on and the switch is all the way across the room
Do yourself a favor and stay off of a scale for at least a month! Trust me...
See, you think I give a sh@t.. Wrong! In fact, while you talk,I'm thinking; How can I give less of a sh@t?that's why I look so interested..
If women ruled the world there would be no wars. Just a bunch of jealous countries not talking to each other for silly reasons !!!... :P :D
Non-Alcoholic beer. It's like going down on your cousin. Tastes the same but just not right.
took a bucket of Legos to Lowes and asked the cute manager "Let's build something together" that's when I got thrown out of Lowe's.
Impotence: Nature's way of saying 'No hard feelings....'
Dear young Americans, (age group 18-25) please continue to post pictures of you partying and drinking, (some of you underage). It will make it easier for a future employer to decide whether to hire you or not
Word of advice, Saying "Nice Hand" at an amputee poker fund raiser is NOT a good idea!
82 notifications later and I regret liking your status. :|
I am 100% certain that Band Camp enrollment went up by a third after the movie American Pie! Thanks Stiffler!!
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